health

Aside

Full speed ahead

Over and over again the past couple weeks I’m being reminded that I’m right where I’m supposed to be. Last year at this point in time I was getting off a plane across the world- starting one crazy adventure, and now another one is starting. Or maybe the first never ended.

Four days after I was released from my latest hospital visit (update on that: booked for surgery in December to have my appendix out..), I started back at school. I love love love it. As many of my friends will tell you, I am fully embracing my inner nerd. I don’t think I’ve ever been this focused on school, or enjoyed studying this much. There is only one courses I find utterly boring (stats, yuck), but it is mandatory for my degree so I’m stuck with it. Hopefully I can remember how to do math. My birthday was spent in class from 10am-9pm, but was ended with an awesome roommate who had homemade cupcakes, drinks, and candles lit for when I got home after that long day. The following few days were spent with some good friends who I hadn’t spent time with in forever, and the weekend ended with a great supper at my Grandparents, which was perfect.

 

As I start this new school year, I’m so far doing quite good at not looking at the assignments and studying looming ahead and absolutely losing it. To be honest, I’m terrified by all this. School, my goals, plans, etc. But from that I know that I’m in the right place. Without that terrified feeling, I wouldn’t have the motivation to work as hard as I’ll need to. And I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by people who will only help me stay on track. I’ve been shown too many times this year who is behind me when I’m thrown one of life’s great curveballs. Although baseball has never been my sport, I’ve also shown myself that I am capable of taking a lot and still coming out the other side stronger then before (maybe not always physically, though). Thankfully my batting skills are starting to improve, as I’ve been getting a lot of those curveballs lately- and they don’t seem to be slowing down.

As you can probably tell, my life revolves around school right now. But.. whats new besides school? Let’s see. I’m no longer a teenager, and I actually forgot about my own birthday until a couple days before. I’m living full time in the city now, and loving it. I’m back into a regular work out schedule, and can’t get enough of it. I’m blessed enough to have amazing employers who are giving me work that fits around my insane school schedule, oh, and I’m getting another dose of radiation tomorrow as my foot gets x-rayed for possible stress fractures (remember that fall I had at Fall Harvest? Yeah…). It never ends with me.. But it could be worse. I think I must be on my second set at least of “bad things come in 3’s” so maybe this will be it for a while!

Speaking of which, Monday morning is on its way and I am nowhere near ready yet. All the fun of this weekend is catching up on me, so it’s time for some shut eye so this week doesn’t completely wipe me. More later!

Just in time

I’ve broken my record for length between posts, I think. Which must mean my life is finally getting back on track (insanely busy)!

It’s been just over a month now since “the surgery”, and I’m finally almost back to normal. I’m done dressing changes, and although there is still some healing needing to be done- I’m pretty much able to forget about it and just let it happen. Which is good, because that means I can ride! Yesterday was my first real ride back since surgery, and I haven’t been that happy in a long time! Willard has been moved to McMullans for the week as we’re planning on going to Fall Harvest this weekend. Yes, a show right after a month off- an excellent plan, isn’t it? Any other year I might not have felt comfortable doing this, but this year I have complete faith in my horse and our ability that this shouldn’t be too much of a problem. And here is where I need to say a HUGE thank you to my friend and fellow rider Laura Clark, who rides at Bluebear and also hails from Carman. She has been coming and hacking Willard for me over the past month and after riding him tonight in the ring I was so happy to find he was moving beautifully and so willing to do lateral work. Like I never got off! I knew he would be in good  hands with her. So, Laura if you read this, thank you thank you thank you!  It’s great to know my horse is in relative condition even when I’ve been unable to ride for a while.

I rode for about an hour and a half yesterday, and an hour today- I just couldn’t bring myself to get off. Even though my body has gotten a little too used to the easy life. I’ve been slowly trying to add things to my schedule, like work outs and now riding, plus work- and soon school again. 2 months ago it was easy to do all of those things in one day and still have energy at the end of the day. Now, it’s a little more challenging. I’m still trying to find the energy I used to have. I’m sure it will come back, I’m not really giving it a choice. Hopefully over the next couple weeks, as my schedule starts to pick up again I will feel back to normal. School is only a couple weeks away!!! I can’t believe how excited I am! Before I started this post I had my nose stuck in one of my texts already. Wonder how long this will last? Haha

My class schedule is pretty full. Actually, it is completely full. I have 10 courses, my 5 for the fall are: Nutrition, Biomechanics, Data Analysis, Anatomy and Physiology, and Scientific Principles of Fitness and Conditioning. Following those, with my AP running all year, are: Intro Kinesiology, Research Methods, Prevention and Care of Injuries, and Psych in Sport and Life. It’s definitely going to be a challenging year, to say the least. To add onto my school schedule, I plan on riding and working as well. Although fall has some of my tougher courses, I think it will be the easier term, schedule wise as most days all my classes are in the afternoons- so I’ll have most mornings and evenings free to work and ride and study. The winter term things get a little crazier with courses spanning from late morning to evening classes plus a Saturday class- which means I’ll be in school 6 days a week. Unfortunately this was the only way I could schedule things so I got into all my classes and labs, so it will have to do! The past week or so has been a flurry of me organizing text books, gym memberships, locker rentals, and everything in between. Thankfully most of that is done now and I can focus on Fall Harvest, and then finish moving things to the city and settle in there. As much as I’ve been pretty stressed lately, it’s all for the right reasons and I’m very excited to face the challenges that come up this year in school. I proved to myself in Anatomy this spring that I can get decent grades if I work hard at it, so I hope I can continue proving that to myself in the future. That B was definitely not easy for me, but it was such an accomplishment when I got it! I still stop and wonder sometimes why I chose this path. What is someone who has always drifted towards arts and never did well in sciences doing in a Bachelor of Science degree in one of the most challenging specialities?! At the same time, I can’t see myself doing anything else. And the more I talk to other people in the profession, the more I fall in love with it.

That’s all I’ve got for now, I’m exhausted! Here are a couple pictures from my ride on Sunday- and I hope I write again soon! There will definitely be a Fall Harvest update!

MS River Rouge cruise!

Roomies!

Quality Control

Ever had those days where the universe seems determined to bring you down, no matter what you do? Emotional roller coster, you could call it. I’ve had a few of those lately, and it’s all I can do usually to remind myself of all I have to be grateful for in my life. It’s been a amusement park of a year for me, so far, and if I remember correctly last fall I was going through an equally rough time in my first couple months over seas and really could not see how any part of it was going to get better soon. But it did. By the time I got back to Canada six months later I had experienced so many ups and downs and turnarounds that I was able to hit the ground running almost as soon as I got off the plane. Since then I’ve been going full speed ahead. Lately I’ve been forced to slow down again and one might say I’m not handling it well. Which when I think about it, is not something that should bother me as much as it does. This time I’m spending in recovery is really not going to have that much long term effects on my life after its over. In a few months time I doubt I’ll even think about it much. I probably won’t even have a hugely visible scar. I guess the worst part about this recovery time is that I have too much time to ponder about this, that, and the other things. My friend, who coincidentally just returned from her own NZ adventure, expressed having the same problem of having too much thinking time while she is home a lot of the day and still searching for employment since her return. This can be good, or it can be bad. Right now it’s the latter, through no fault but my own. I get easily frustrated when it comes to my body. And lately, it’s given me plenty of opportunities to become more frustrated. I never really wanted this surgery, however minor. But, it was the best option- I think.  I knew recovery was going to be hard for me, but somehow I underestimated how hard. Past that, I’m still struggling with hip, back, and shoulder problems that seem to linger no matter what I do to remedy them. Right now, they are worse then usual- because  my regular stretching and exercises are impossible due to recovery. If you have read my posts over the past year you’ll know that this has also been similar to a theme park ride, one second these injuries are getting better and we’ve found something that helps long term- and then it’s all flipped again. It’s easy to see how if one thinks about stuff like this for too long, it would lead to frustration and a less then ideal mind set.

What should I be thinking about? I have lots to be thankful for in my life. Parents who support me, wonderful friends, family, and coaches, an amazing horse, overall great health, the opportunity to get an education in a career path I love, and so much else. I’ve had the chance to travel and do things many people my age haven’t. I have so much to look forward to. It’s hard to see through the bad when it’s physically all you can feel. Perspective is what it comes down to. And after the day I had today, I’m realizing I need to check mine. After all, am I really complaining about having time to be lazy and relax during the summer? Who does that?! All that negative stuff in my life is going to be there after I’m recovered. And I’ll be in a much better place to handle it later on, probably. It’s too easy to get stuck in a dark place. I’ve done it too many times already. I don’t often get a chance to slow down with my schedule. I shouldn’t be spending it being grumpy and wishing it was a different way. It’s out of my control, and I can’t change it now. All I can do is make the best of what it is, and remind myself of all the good things.

The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

 

 

 

Intro to Summer

As usual the past few weeks have been a blur. Between studying for exams, showing, working, and finally writing exams- I’m now realizing I feel quite lost not having anything to study for.. until September anyway. I’ve filled that gap by trying to plan out my courses for next year. A task that is actually impossible, seeing as I’ve been given a VERY late registration date because somebody in the office screwed up and lost my paperwork along the way, so most of the sections I’m hoping to get into will most likely be full by the time I register, which means I’ll be rearranging this schedule a thousand times over no doubt. Luckily, I have a friend on the inside (my AT) who is always there to help pick the right courses and answer any questions! Can we say hero?

As you may recall, I was at Summer Smiles horse show over the past weekend, and it was definitely summery and full of smiles! I got into Winnipeg from Regina at 8am (getting up at 3:30am was really fun), and made a fast transition from half asleep, grody commuter to semi-awake student and managed to get to the University by 9am to catch my last review lab. After that I had a quick study date at Olive Garden with my favourite study buddy Michelle, and then squeezed in a quick nap before heading out to BHP for warm ups. Because my mom is awesome, my horse was already there and all I had to do was check in at the show office, put numbers on tack, and head out to the ring. Will was a star, very concurrent to how he’s been all spring. So after going over a few jumps, having pizza with Mike and Charlene and a few others from the barn, braiding, and making sure everything was good to go for the morning- I made it back to my apartment, only almost falling asleep on the way back to the city a couple times. Back at the park for Day 1 by 7:30, I quickly realized that Mr. Willard had waaaaay too much energy for the hunter ring, or any ring. So, since I had hours to spare, I set about working his energy levels down. Generally I’ll hack for about half an hour on show mornings. I spent an hour and a half on him that morning, and believe me- one of us was worn out. Nevertheless, it was the right choice- as he was perfect for all our rounds that day! We won our 2’9″ Jr/Amateur class, and placed top 5 in all our Sr. Low rounds. Mike summed it up perfectly later that day by saying “you have to do what’s necessary to be successful”, so if that means spending almost two hours hacking- it’s worth it. My original plan for this weekend was to spend the extra time I always have at shows studying and reviewing for exams. I have no idea why I thought that was going to work. I really tried hard on Saturday to focus on studying, but when I’m in horse show mode- trying to memorize the origin, insertion, actions, and innervation of the pectineus muscle just doesn’t work out. Plus I was extremely tired. So I decided to give up on the day time studying, and focus on studying after the show day was over. Again, why would I think that would work? By the time I got back to my place at 7:30pm, I sat down to study and woke up an hour later with metal ring imprints across my cheek from passing out across my notebook. After that I decided I should maybe just go to bed, at 8pm. That 14 hrs of sleep was worth it though, Sunday was another great day, without excess energy thankfully. We pulled off a reserve champion in the Jr/Amateur Division, and again top 5 placings in the 3ft classes. I even had enough left in the tank to do a little studying that night.

Patti, Charlene, Alison, and I rushing to wait some more..

Monday morning began with the last quiz of the course, and it went very well! That gave me a little bit of confidence to roll with for the exams on Wednesday and Thursday. The bell ringer on Wednesday wasn’t my best work, I don’t think anyway, but Thursdays written portion felt really good. Either way, I’m done for a couple months! Now what?

On Tuesday this week, I had my second consult with a sports med regarding the old reoccurring back injury that never seems to leave and also opinions on if and how the cyst on my tailbone could be affecting it. A couple weeks ago I had a consult with a doctor at Pan Am, on the same thing, who x-rayed my back and found nothing and ordered a MRI which I’m booked for later in July. She was pretty unhelpful, in the sense that she couldn’t really give a definitive answer to anything I was asking other then saying that the pilonidal sinus could be related, but there were too many factors to be sure, and that SI joints are tricky and the best thing she could suggest is cortisone shots and discussing other invasive treatments outside of the therapy I’m already doing.  The doctor I saw this week, at Legacy, is also very interested in seeing the MRI and hopes to be able to give me a better answer after those results. Although his initial diagnosis, without the MRI results, isn’t the best (mechanical back pain, likely chronic), he seemed pretty proactive and willing to help me try out more treatment options such as acupuncture/dry needling to go along side therapy – seeing as I’ve tried everything else. My AT, who I trust more then anyone, is thinking that this upcoming surgery on the cyst is going to make a big difference. There is a structural problem that keeps reoccurring, and we can’t quite figure out why. Basically what happens is my SI joint slips out of place, causing the left part of my pelvis to rotate funny- in turn causing lower back muscles, hip, and thigh muscles to do really painful things. Bending over lots is usually what really sets it off, which is a good reason that I’m no longer working in the manual labour field- because that’s all I was doing. As much as I’m frustrated that nothing is fixing this problem long term, I’m very glad I have such a talented AT on my side- keeping me functioning and somewhat sane.

And so now I get to enjoy 2 weeks of summer before I go under the knife and spend most of July recovering. I’m loving my new job, although it’s quite a transition going from outdoor work to a office job. What’s on my list of things to do during the next two weeks?

1. Ride (duh), as much as possible! I had an awesome ride tonight, even though it was nothing more then a simple hack in the ring here at home. It was one of those rides where I felt completely ‘in the zone’ the whole time, and like my horse could read my thoughts, and I his. Every rider will know that feeling, and know how great (and addicting) it is. With the MHJA Beach Party show approaching this coming weekend- I’m grateful for every ride I have like this. There is no better feeling then feeling that focused in competition!

I’ve also been coaching a local girl for a few weeks now, and I’m loving watching her progress! It’s a great challenge for me trying to explain the simplest parts of riding to someone who doesn’t necessarily understand them yet. It’s not always easy to explain something that has become second nature to you. I’m getting better at it though, and by the improvements I see every week in my student- she is understanding at least some of what I say! I’m happy that at least if I can’t be riding most of the summer, I can be helping someone else build skills in the sport!

2. Run, bike, plank, push up, pull up, lunge, squat, lift, press, work out! I’m seriously going to miss the gym, almost as much as I’ll miss riding during recovery time. The changes I’ve seen in myself over the past 6-8 weeks of consistent training are amazing, and I am so excited to get back into it as soon as I can.

3. Work. Because my student life has taken a serious tole on my bank account. The fact that I’ve been in between pay cheques for quite a while now doesn’t help either. Luckily for me, my next pay cheque should come through.. right after surgery. So my two weeks of real summer will be spent doing the cheapest activities I can find. AKA, hanging out with my parents.. a lot 🙂

All that makes for a very, very busy couple weeks. But, I usually function better when I’m kept busy- so I’m glad for that! There will certainly be some crazy days, where I’m not quite sure how the schedule is going to fit. Example being, next thursday when I have my pre-op/anesthesiologist appts all afternoon at Boundary Trails in Winkler, and then warmups at the RRX grounds in Winnipeg. Everything always works out though, in the end- so all I can do is keep right on going- one day at a time.

Somebody told them they could grow up, graduate, and make me feel old!