The Gift

It’s next to impossible to predict where you’re going to end up, or how happy you’re going to be, or what you need when- until you know. We go so long not appreciating what we have, only to look back and realize what we missed. Sometimes I think that happens for a reason; how else would we be able to learn from experience? There was so many times in NZ that I couldn’t get myself out of what was definitely the darkest place I’ve ever been. But upon drawing from past experience and lessons learnt I didn’t give into that, and low and behold I learned too much to list and was able to turn some brutal times into experience that will help me the rest of my life. It’s taken me awhile to be grateful for all the crap I had to handle over there- and believe me I still have moments where I struggle to see the good in some things. But it’s getting easier to appreciate ‘the gift’ all that bad brought me. Insert typical “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” quote.

I’ve been thinking about NZ a lot lately. To be honest I never really stop thinking about it. Thinking about all the good, and the.. challenging things I experienced in those 6 months away. Thinking about all that’s changed and how I’ve grown. Thinking about what I miss and what I don’t. I remember often being frustrated while I was over there because I couldn’t make progress towards goals that had to do with school, or sport and being anxious to get home for that reason; so I could get back into school and into training. What I didn’t realize then was that I was taking steps towards those goals, just in a different way. During my time there I came to the realization that I wanted to change career paths. Who knows if I would have come to that conclusion as quickly if I’d been here in school. More then that, being away taught me how much I really want to reach those goals. I came home more driven and focused then I’ve ever been in my life. And in order to keep the schedule I do, that is what I needed. There is no way I could have a life like I do right now and not be determined or focused. As it is I could do with a little more focus sometimes.

When I was flying over BC in March, looking at the snow covered mountains, I had to work hard to fight back tears. Mostly tears of excitement over being home after what seemed like a long, hard 6 months. I was ready to be back in the comfort of home. But, as anybody who travels will tell you, its hard to come home after being away for so long. Especially after growing so much as a person.  It took about a week of me being home for me to feel a little lost somewhere that is the most familiar to me. But- at the same time- I came back with a different perspective. I came back ready to chase my dreams harder then I ever have before. I don’t get shaken by much anymore because more then once I’ve experienced how far you can fall and then all at once find a way to get back up. I started to realize what my priorities are, and that I can’t wait for people to make decisions about my life- because it’s just that, my life. I know I made the right decision to come home when I did. I love school, and that my horse is going as well as he is so far this season. Neither of those would have been possible without that extra 3 months in the home country. Part of what is sometimes disorientating about being home, still, is trying to fit in as the person I became in the place of the person I left as. If that makes sense. As much as I adore everything about living at home- small town life isn’t quite jamming with where I’m at right now. There really isn’t a better way to describe it.

I think the past few posts have been about my amazing horse. The fact that he has been going so well this year is also partially thanks to all those things I picked up in NZ. The confidence I feel between us lately is spectacular, and I can thank every horse, trainer, and owner that I worked with/under overseas. Riding different horses is such a good way to develop confidence and skills in the saddle. Doing that under the scrutiny of other trainers and in a high stress situation really doesn’t hurt either (well, after the fact anyway). My riding is more instinctual now. It takes less time for me to process decisions. Where I used to hesitate, I now act. All of this is effecting my horse in the most positive way possible. Because horses are such responsive creatures, every ounce of confidence I feel- he picks up too. One of the reasons riders are some of the most focused people I know- without that, there is no partnership, and with no team- you have no success. And as any rider will tell you, what you feel when all there is between you and your horse is pure trust and you feel like you can do anything- is by far the best feeling out there. I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to achieve that in almost every ride this season so far. 

Our first show will most definitely be Summer Smiles in June at BHP. I’m more then excited, and really hoping all he’s been doing at home is going to come through at the show- otherwise I’ll look like a dick saying all these wonderful things about him haha. To makes things a little more stressful, because that’s what I excel at apparently, my final exams fall approximately 2 days after that show- which means on top of showing I’ll have to be studying in every single spare second I have. As far as the midterm, I’m not going to complain about my mark. It definitely could have been higher- but it also could have been much worse. It’s good enough to keep my average at a place I’m happy with. It’s at the right level to kick my ass in gear to push a little harder next time- which is good. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

 

 

Go

So my weekly posts have quickly turned into monthly posts. Such is life.

As I mentioned before, I’m pretty busy (understatement) lately. Between school 3 days a week, work, riding, studying and keeping myself in shape- I really don’t have many spare moments. I can honestly say I’ve never been more tired then I was the past 2-3 weeks. Last week about 20 hours of my life were dedicated to just driving. Kudos to everyone out there who commutes long distances to work everyday of the year, I am already pretty tired of highway 3. But it’s worth it, I’m loving my class and hopefully retaining everything I’m learning; midterm is on Monday. And I’ll have a place to live in the ‘Peg as of June 1st, so that will cut some driving down. Or at least provide a place to nap between drives.

On the horsey side of things, I cannot get over how well Will is doing. I’ve probably said it before, but I feel like I came home to a completely different horse (more then just the extra weight). After those first couple weeks of ADHD and wild horse syndrome, he’s been absolutely perfect. Both of us are more confident, and although I was initially worried about how much his winter off would set us back- I’m now realizing how much it benefitted him. The things we struggled with last year seem easy now and we’re able to focus on progressing further. I’m very excited for our first show, which will be the Summer Smiles show in mid-June.

I wrote a post not too long ago about upping my fitness level- and that is also going extremely well. After 4 weeks straight of almost everyday work outs, I was feeling so much stronger in the saddle. At the 4 week mark I took two weeks off heavy work outs as I had a brutal cold and a few injuries arise.. strained tendon in ankle/foot (serves me right for not buying new running shoes earlier-still paying for that one) and some minor alignment issues with my shoulders and hips- easily remedied with some rehab and stretching- which I’m all too used to by now. I’m back into regular work outs now, and feeling great! The tendon in my foot is still not 100%, so no high impact (running, etc) for a while. Good thing I like the rowing machine! Tonight is interval night (4x1000m rows), my favourite.. In all seriousness though, the difference I can feel in my riding ability is amazing. Can’t wait to see the improvements after 12 weeks!

My mid-term on Monday consists of the entire skeletal system from head to toe. And is worth 25% of my grade, a grade that must be above a B for me to progress in my chosen degree. Needless to say that I have quite a bit of memorizing to do this weekend. With that being said I’m going to head off to the gym, and then bunker down for a crap load of bones, ligaments, and joints.

Look! No Hands!

Yes, I know its been a very long time since I’ve posted. And I have lots to write about. Unfortunately, I’m dead tired and flat out busy basically 24/7. So you’ll just have to wait. Until then, here are some stills from some video. No hands grid exercise was brought out again, and all I will say is somewhere over the last 8 months everything we’ve been working on with Willard has clicked and I seem to have a superstar on my hands now. As you can see in the pictures, the ears are pricked and he is having a blast, making everything look easy. Happy dance!

 

Time flies when you’re having fun?

Hard to believe I’ve already been home almost 2 months! The past few weeks have been an absolute blur for me, so I apologize for the lack of posting going on. If you have me on facebook you will have some idea of how insane my schedule is getting- if you don’t, I’ll briefly outline it for you.

A day in the life.

6:45am get up, proceed to spend 20-30 min in the shower continuing the waking up process. Make lunch, breakfast, and whatever else- walk to work and work 8am-6pm (or 5 depending on the day). Get home, work with horses (depending on weather, of course), eat somewhere in there, and usually by 7 or 8pm be working out with my fantastic personal trainer until 9 or 10pm. Get back home, find bed, and set alarm for the next day- as I’m working 6 days a week right now. This is a very general schedule- soon, as in next week, we’ll be adding in study time as I start classes on Wednesday. Most of the time, if you asked me what day it is, I would not be able to give a quick answer.

So there you go, that’s where all my time is flying to.

Willard is coming along quite nicely, if I do say so. We’ve gotten over the fear of being in the ring alone and can now work successfully without prancing for the first half hour. The other night we even ventured to the back pasture by ourselves to so some conditioning. I was so proud! As it stands right now, I don’t think the Victoria Day Weekend show will be in our reach- as my work schedule will still be insane and we are nowhere near show ready. I’m hoping to make the Summer Smiles show in mid June, that’s my goal anyway. That gives us a month and a half to get ourselves organized. It still might be a stretch.

We had a lesson today with Charlene, and it went so so good! I’ll post some videos later. His canter has become so adjustable lately, all our flat work is paying off! My eye has also improved 110% since last year. Charlene pointed that out, I can see distances from 4/5 strides out and adjust, if needed, so I get to the jump at a good spot. It all felt so natural today. We didn’t have one bad jump! Even cantering to a single oxer off a diagonal turn, which was our weakness last year. Happy dance!

And yes, I have a personal trainer. Or the equivalent of. It’s been 2 weeks of working out 5 days a week, plus riding- and I have to say, I’m feeling awesome. I feel stronger in the saddle (and more confident as a result), and all those pesky injuries haven’t bothered me much at all since starting this new work out. A lot of what we do is strength stuff, as that is what I need more of. I already have the flexibility of a elite gymnast. The reason I end up with so many out of the blue muscular problems is because of that flexibility, so we’re balancing it out with some strength. I’ve made the decision to commit to improving my fitness and basically rebuild my body- because I’m tired of being frustrated and hurting myself. Although I did do a lot of working out before, I accomplish more when I have someone there to push me and challenge me- at the same time keep me from hurting myself and over doing it. I plan on posting our work out records on here eventually, so anybody who is interested can follow my progress! If this is 2 weeks, I can’t wait for 4 weeks! If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you- right?

As I said earlier, I start classes this week! Monday, Wednesday, Friday 9am-12 I’ll be in the city for Anatomy, and then back in Carman to work until 6. I’m so excited!! Which I know I probably will regret saying later on, when I’m studying all the time. But still, so pumped! To make it all better, my favourite AT is my teacher! Can’t wait!

First lesson, after many learned.

Mom, Willard, Felix, and I made the trek to Mike and Charlene’s this morning so I could have a lesson with Charlene. Felix came along just so he could see what the outside world is like. He was a champ, loaded with absolutely no problem and didn’t even look twice at the new sights once he came off the trailer. Willard had numerous jokes at his expense about his furriness, and roundness- compliments of Mike. All in good fun. Charlene even said after our lesson that he looked better with more weight on, and it’d be awesome if we could keep him a little bulky- with more muscle and conditioning of course. Don’t think he’d make it around a 3ft course at the moment.

As to be expected, Charlene took us right down to the basics. My equitation was picked apart and right away we were on to fixing some habits I’d developed while overseas. I have to say, my equitation has definitely improved over the past 6 months. I’m much more solid in the saddle, and my lower leg doesn’t move much- where as last year I was working hard on fixing that. Something about riding young expensive horses in front of the trainer and owners at a barn across the planet fixed that. Perfection is everything in that situation.  That being said, because I rode so many young horses, I got used to riding with my hands in a wider position- which is a common practice when riding some horses, especially younger inexperienced ones. But on a horse like Will, or one who is farther along in training, you don’t need wide hands. So right away Charlene picked at my hands. Another hand issue I have is I tend to pull too much on the inside rein, and we worked on fixing this by doing large circles with me focusing either on my hands, or the centre. Just so I could get the feel back of riding a trained horse, and not having to correct his every move. Because with him I don’t, anymore, he’s falling back into his old regular self again. Slowly but surely. The first half hour of the morning was spent with me just warming up and getting Will used to that arena again. He knew where he was as soon as we walked in the ring. He’s always loved that ring. Then Charlene spent a bit with me working on the flat, nit picking at my equitation. Another habit we’re working on killing is letting my hips slide to the back of the saddle. A minor problem that many riders have. Charlene always emphasizes the importance of keeping your hips close to the front of the saddle, so your legs remain under you- keeping the angle open. This is one of those habits that it’s hard to tell when you’re doing it, because it is such a minor position change- but a important one. And as Kyle Timm once told me in NZ, “The difference between the great riders and good riders, are the ones who have the ability to fix habits on their own without having a coach tell them every five seconds to fix it”. It’s always up to you to better yourself. A coach is there for guidance and support- but if you’re going to progress it really comes down to how focused you are on your riding. Something that’s stuck with me.

After flatting, we began some jumping work. Pretty low key stuff- seeing as I haven’t jumped anything more than thistles in a pasture for 8 months, and neither has my horse. First up was a cross-rail with a pole placed one stride in front. The first time or so we did this exercise it was pretty.. dodgy. We got over it, but our timing was different. We were both arriving at the jump at different times and expecting different things to happen. But after a couple iffy goes, we synced up our timing and did it quite nicely. I’d forgotten how round Willard jumps- and how much this tends to throw me forward more. Now that I am remembering all this, I can focus again on keeping my shoulders up over  jumps, and not letting myself fall too close into his neck. Especially over baby jumps. After this exercise we moved to a vertical set in the centre of the ring. Trotting over it and stopping. Simple enough. Again though, the timing thing just wasn’t there. I ended up on his neck a couple of times. At least I’m good at catching myself? Haha. So, we went again, this time with me transitioning from posting to sitting trot a few strides before the jump, so I didn’t get caught mid ride when he hesitated. This helped immensely, and built both our confidence in each other. The next step in the exercise was trotting the centre jump, coming back on an angle one way, then the other, and then back through the centre to a halt at the end of the ring. Coming into this lesson I expected him to be quite strong and pully once we started jumping- because he’s always been pretty excitable when it comes to jumping. I think this is what Charlene expected too. But he surprised us both. Cantering away from the jumps he maintained a light, balanced feel and didn’t try and run into any jumps. He was very responsive to my aides pretty much the whole time. A welcome surprise!

The last exercise of the day really proved he remembered was a light, balanced canter was. We trotted into a wall jump on the diagonal off the wall in a corner, with an awkward line away from the jump. I was to keep him balanced around the corner and then transition to a walk after cantering through the awkward corner. He did it perfectly. I hardly had to correct him. That was encouraging. Even though the whole lesson was focused on the basics, and we were only jumping little stuff meant to build our confidence and get us used to each other again- I was so happy that he was listening so well. It means that once we get into more complex work again we won’t have as far to go. I knew that when I stopped training for 8 months I ran the risk of having to start over completely again, so I’m happy that we aren’t getting thrown right back to the start-again. We’re on our way back! Small victories!

So you have a distracted horse.

It’s a challenge we all face (well those of you who ride, anyway). Especially this time of year. Even more so if your horse is coming off 8 months of pasture time. Thankfully this awesome weather is providing lots of opportunities to get out there and re-focus your pony on the most important thing: what you’re telling (asking) them to do.

The past few rides for me have gone along these lines..

1. Pleasant warm up with Mom in the ring playing with Felix.

2. Me being amazed at how well my horse is listening and responding.

3. Feeling like a champ.

4. Other horses leave the ring.

5. Suddenly I become of little importance.

6. Awesome feeling vanishes.

7. The next 45 minutes are spent competing for focus.

This is to be expected. My horse literally hasn’t left the pasture since last August. Who can blame him for being a tad bit herd bound. I’m noticing huge similarities between the horse I bought 5 years ago, the wild eyed 6 yr old who pranced for the first half hour every ride, regardless, and the horse I’ve been working with for the past few weeks. Although, he’s definitely still got some of his discipline. Deep, deep down. It’s very apparent when he’s surrounded by his friends and I’m riding. As soon as you take him out of his comfort zone, though..

Luckily, I’ve learnt how to deal with this. Way back in the day during our trial period with Mr. Willard, I attended a dressage clinic at Pine Ridge. It was a solo lesson, and the Willard I was on was in no way happy about this. I was pretty nervous myself, to be honest. But- what happened over the next hour that day was amazing. By the end of the clinic, he was completely focused on me and not worried about anything else. When we left the ring we had spectators coming up and telling us how amazing the whole process was to watch. I’ll probably never forget that day- as it was the first time we’d seen the potential Will has. What was the magic trick? Constant stimulation. Never letting him take his attention off of me. Even if it meant walking two steps, stopping, walking, stopping, walking, backing up, trotting, stopping, etc. Every time he even thought about taking his focus away, I was responsible for bringing it back. Always questioning him, asking for something. It could be the simplest idea. Like a walk to halt transition. Any kind of transition really. A pivot. A change of direction. Walking in squares, spirals, circles, triangles, you name it. Constant change. A major clue as to where your horse’s focus is? The ears. If they’re pricked forward, he definitely is not concerned about what the small human on his back is doing. Having one ear cocked to the side, or slightly backwards is a positive sign you’re getting somewhere. You can tell a lot from the ears. Another thing I’ve learned over the years working with Will, and similar horses, is that sometimes you just gotta give them a chill out period. After 15 minutes of you constantly picking at them, who can blame them for getting a little annoyed. A few minutes of loose rein time can go a long way, especially with ADHD horses. It also gives you as a rider a chance to relax, too. Because, trust me, rides like this are not always the most fun. It’s also important to know when to push, and when to call it a day. If you’ve won a battle, and your horse is listening to you- doing what you ask, then maybe it’s time to give them a pat and move on. There’s no sense pushing it too far, and opening up a new war that ends up lasting another hour. That’s hard on you and the horse. Be okay with small victories!

Riding isn’t just a physical act; it’s a mind game- 110% of the time. Horses are smart (even though I’ve often found myself muttering the words stupid, ignorant, idiotic when having a frustrating ride), and they can read you like a book.  They will find ways to challenge you and try to take the easy way out, at least some of the time. While every horse is different, they will be stubborn, pushy, full of attitude, and be complete asshats- as much as they will be cute, full of heart, compassion, and talent. As Charlene likes to say, “Horses keep us humble”. They can bring out the best in us, if we have the patience to work for it. Nothing worth having comes easy, right?

Spring Shots with the Boys.

Stole my mom’s camera again, and hung out with Mr. Willard and Felix today. Here are the results.

How do you see the world?

Cutie!

This is what happens..

When you give your horse 8 months off.

  1. Hair grows.
  2. Pot bellies form.
  3. Grey turns into brown from dirt.
  4. Attitudes change from “Oh hi, Mom!” to “You don’t know anything, mother, get off my back!”
  5. Sitting trot turns into crazy collected canter with a squeal every time I half halt.
  6. Bouncing on the spot is back in fashion.
  7. Leaning on the bit is cool too.

Needless to say, I have a lot of work to do. Tonight, after lunging and getting his attention semi-focused on me, I spent quite awhile doing trot figure eights. When he didn’t lighten up on my hands, I switched to walking, halt transitions and then bending circles and counter bending until he was a little bit more relaxed. Then I attempted sitting trot, but soon discovered that he no longer knows what it is- and spent a good half an hour trying to re-teach that skill, to not much avail. So back to lateral work at a walk, and then posting trot. It’s a good thing I’m patient. And I love my pony.