Athlete

Trust

“Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something”

It’s something almost everybody struggles with at one point in life. Something that’s so hard to gain, but can be lost in a split second. As a rider, I’ve learned many times how much trust can have an influence on results. It’s often a deciding factor between success and disaster in our sport. As much as any team needs to be able to trust one another completely, horse and rider have to have the same connection.. Except without words.
Something I knew before, but am very aware of now, is how much every horse varies. Just like people, horses have very distinct personalities. Some will be easier to build a partnership with, while others will be standoffish for quite a while before you really get to know them.
When I first began riding, I was put on a big black beauty named Otis. My first ride on him was bareback, being led around the back pasture at Bluebear. Not long after that you could find the two of us galloping across fields chasing geese. He was the first horse I trusted completely. That being said its much easier to trust when you’re 7 years old and have absolutely no fear. Nonetheless we formed that special partnership that all equestrians will know of.
I’ve been through many horses since Otis. Washington, my mom’s horse, and I never quite got past the despising each other part. Monty, the loveable little appy who took me to my first provincial show and taught me oh so much about staying in the saddle before and after jumps. Then there came Flash, a chestnut mare who very much lived up to the stereotype of chestnut mares. Flash and her previous owner had been in the same 4H club and teams as I had (with Monty) for a few years and we’d seen Flash win everything in site, as well as be a complete bitch here and there too. When we bought her, we knew she had issues- but what horse doesn’t? This beautiful girl became my closest friend and my worst enemy depending on the day. She was a horse that was hard to trust, I can’t lie. We had some pretty rocky days. But the relationship we built was rock solid. She took me to many wins and taught me almost everything I know about trust, and how to handle chestnut mare syndrome. Unfortunately she developed some soundness problems in the last couple years I owned her, which made competing much more of a touch and go scenario. Eventually it became painfully (literally) clear that she was sick of the show routine and was ready for the next part of her life. She enjoyed demonstrating this by bucking, rearing, and playing games in the middle of classes. Our last show together was Carman Fair 2010 where we had a less than ideal show, which ended with her rearing, me bailing, landing very hard on my shoulder- ripping my favourite show shirt, and the judge finally looking our way. Since selling her was too hard and we wanted to know who would own her, she was traded back to her original breeders- who still remembered her as the first horse who ever made them money in the show ring (she was 2nd in the ’97 50/50 futurity). In return we got Felix, and the right to one more of their foals.
In comes Willard. Another horse who it took me a long time to build trust in. It took so much to get him to where he is today (or where he was in August of last year anyway). I grew up a lot in the process. In order to build trust, you first have to have confidence enough in yourself to build your horse’s confidence. This was the case with Will. He needed me to be the confident one as he was as timid as a mouse. You’ll find a lot of horses are this way, especially green horses. If you knew me when I was younger, you’d know that I wasn’t the most confident. As I got older and more involved in athletics, theatre, and progressed in my riding, this changed of course. And it got easier to ride Will- and thus Will began to grow up too- becoming what he is now.
When you really think about it, it takes so much trust to do what we riders do. Hopping on a 1100lb plus animal and expecting it to listen to you let alone jump around a course of big obstacles sounds insane to a lot of people. But personally, and I know many will agree, I could not imagine doing anything else. The past few days I’ve been exercising race horses at an extended trot around the pastures of Airhill farm. These thoroughbreds are all on average about 16.3 or bigger and are some of the best race horses/ jump race (steeplechase) horses in New Zealand. Galloping up steep inclines is at its best a little terrifying but I’ve found that I’m absolutely in love with it. Every muscle in my body is sore and tired, and I’m way past the point of exhaustion. But I’m still saying yes to another ride out and smiling as the horse races up the hill on the way to the work out trail. In this kind if situation you have to be able to build the trust quickly. You don’t have months or years to build a relationship. You have seconds, maybe minutes, to trust the horse you’re on and establish a confidence. As I said earlier, each horse is different. Yorkie, one horse I exercise, is quiet and likes to know I’m there with him, and needs more contact on the reins.. While King is quite hot to start out, will not stand still and needs a more relaxed contact to relax himself. All these little things need to be picked up on quickly if you’re going to have a successful ride.
I’m getting pretty excited to get home to my own horse, as much as I love riding all these talented horses in this beautiful landscape- there’s nothing quite like that feeling when you’re on a horse you have that special bond with. I’m sure Willard will present me with some new challenges, as he’s become quite the spoiled brat in my absence. I’ve gotten myself back in shape, now it’s hammer time for Mr.Willard. Poor guy. His leisurely days of lazy life are nearly over!

Timing is everything

We had the most amazing thing happen to us today!

I’ve joined Hannah and Niamh, two grooms I worked at LC with, and we’re road tripping about. Our strategy is to stay in a campsite one night, and then sleep in our car for a couple nights. We slept in our car last night. This car is not a big car. It’s a small ’89Toyota corolla, and it’s stuffed full of all our stuff. We are quite the site when we finally all get tucked in. I originally started out in the driver’s seat, but after getting stuck between the steering wheel a few times I switched Niamh (who is the size of a pixie stick) for the back. Which was quite alright if I stuck my legs out the window.

Anyway, today! We lined up a temporary job at racing barn, with trainer Paul Nelson, and due to bad directional skills/common sense got there an hour late. Nevertheless, we went straight to exercising the steeplechasers up, down, and around the rolling hills. The views were absolutely spectacular, and it was so much fun! I missed riding a good thoroughbred, and it’s a great work out too! The horse I was riding, Yorkie, was at least 17hh. I’ll try to get some pictures of the view tomorrow. Pretty much imagine the best landscape you’ve ever seen and quadruple it. Even better from the back of the horse. Almost better then the riding, we’ve been given beds and so far lunch AND dinner. Oh and showers. For homeless people like us this is huge. Plus we’re getting paid. I wish I found this 6 months ago!
We’re planning on staying until Sunday and then moving on to Wellington. Based on today, if I didn’t want to see the South Island before I left I’d be tempted to take up Paul’s full time offer.
They fed us lamb roast with delicious veggies and wine for supper. Such nice people! Tomorrow Hannah and I are the only two working so we’ll be off our feet riding out horses all morning. It will be exhausting, but so much fun I’m sure. I actually feel like I’m finally in decent shape again- after handling today’s work out quite well while a few others were pretty breathless after a few laps of the valley. My legs are a big jelly like now, though- which is fair enough as I haven’t ridden in so long- especially not at this intensity. But I’m loving it!
I have lots of pictures from the past few days here in Napier, which I promise I will post ASAP. I just need to find the energy to edit them- which I do not have right now. This lovely bed is calling me and after about a week sleeping on solid ground and in cars.. Well.. This is basically a 5 star hotel.
Here are a few pics from Parachute though!

Passion

This makes me happy!

Eric is a huge inspiration to me, and when I heard the news of Hickstead’s untimely and sudden death a few months ago I was absolutely devastated, as was most of the equestrian world. I was equally as devastated at the idea that he would retire from the sport early. Although he had many reasons to leave the sport, after the career he’s had, I just couldn’t believe that he would. Knowing what I feel after being away from it for even a few short months I couldn’t see how he could lose his passion, even after such a hard and completely unimaginable loss. Much to my relief, as you will see in the above article if my link works, he has decided to keep going and do his best to still qualify for London on a new mount. YAY!!!!

Relief

My number one concern when shaving my head was that my riding helmet would be too big. Not that it matters too much as I haven’t been riding in over 2 months now. But still, it was a big concern. I worked up the guts to try it on once and for all today to find out. To my great relief it still fits reasonably well! Granted my hair has grown in quite a bit since December 12. I’m about ready to get back into the saddle ASAP, but will hold true of staying away from anything involving being on the back of a horse until I’m back in Manitoba. Which may be sooner then originally stated, but more on that later! The next couple days are quite busy as I’m helping Alison pack and move to her new place in North Shore. Speaking of which I’m supposed to be cleaning my room. I’ll post more news later in the week! Happy New Year everyone!

2011 Top 10

Since I’m not really a resolutions person, I decided I’d just make a top 10 of 2011 list. So, here it is in no particular order!

Second term of first year. I started actually enjoying my classes and realizing that UW was where I’m supposed to be. Also, many adventures were had- from playing a hooker in theatre (rehearsing- or trying to- those lines with Stephan and scaring most of 5th floor) to being called a whore at the Henderson Draft House on Taylor’s bday night (I blame the dress I was wearing, it was Taylor’s) and learning those oh so valuable life lessons with Joey, hide and go seek on campus wayyy after hours- Joey and I so won that match, Stephan and Taylor you can suck it. Loving all my kinesiology classes, falling asleep in intro psych.. a lot.. and still managing to pass, movie nights at Kathryn and Jordan’s, King Ginger, surviving living with Taylor on Langside, buying about 200 chocolate bars in a desperate attempt to use up my meal card. Almost succeeded..Rediscovering my love for the gym, and every other great memory that came along with first year.

Our shower wasn't quite big enough...

I can't even remember why or how this was created.

Assistant coaching the Varsity Cougars Basketball. Although it was hard to not be able to run onto the court like I would’ve the year before, it was a great experience still being a part and helping with the best Varsity team out there. It’s definitely a completely different experience being on the coaching side of things, and I’m glad I got to do it first in a familiar environment. I learned lots about leadership, teamwork, maturity, and coaching working with the two other coaches, and I’m very grateful to them for treating me on the same level as them- as only a short time ago I was a player on their team. Oh, and who could forget rubber chicken tag?

Best Asst Coaching Team Ever!

RMWF 2011. Not really because of any amazing results, but it was my first Gold level show with Mike and Charlene and because it was only me, Lauren, and Katie there from McMullans. It was a great chance to get to know each other better. It was also my first show competing in the adult divisions. I’ve been attending the Royal Fair for as long as I can remember, competing at it for the past 2 years. Unfortunately I won’t be there this year. 2011’s fair was definitely my favourite yet, except for the lack of cinnamon buns and food poisoning.

My first win ever in the adult ami division!

Volunteering at Kaayikawow Adult Education Centre. It started out as a mandatory volunteer portion of my Learning Through Service Education course- but turned into one of my favourite experiences. The first few weeks were rough, between getting lost trying to figure out the downtown/north end bus system (do not trust the internet), and adjusting to teaching adults- most my parents age- lessons I took just a few years back; I was a nervous wreck half the time. But once I saw how happy the students were to have my help, I got less shy and from there the whole experience just got better. I really started loving it when I was asked to help with their Phys Ed program and designed/taught a fitness plan to the students. This experience really showed me the job of teaching and helping others achieve their goals- big or small. One student had a goal of getting his high school diploma and continuing on to Uni so he could get a good job to support his daughter, while another wanted to improve his fitness so that maybe he could get a girlfriend. Both were equally appreciative of any help and knowledge I shared with them- even if it was just giving them someone to talk things through with. I hope to go back and volunteer there again in 2012.
Figuring out how to drive in downtown Winnipeg. Pretty much self explanatory. Many new curse words were invented (OSFGD, Leah?), and I know that I looked completely insane ALL the time whilst driving and talking to myself. Pep talks were usually needed to keep myself from complete and utter chaos. But hey, I now know many new routes, where all the one ways are in Osbourne, and how to get myself un-lost (usually the best bet is calling dad).
Curry Clinics. Andrew is very similar in style to McMullans with his techniques, an during his clinics I was always challenged to take what I’ve learned and put those skills to practical use. I was always pushed to another level, and was able to see all the components of previous lessons clicking into place.

Rance family road trip to Kelowna, BC. Who couldn’t love endless hours of CBC, 4 equally opinionated (all with a different opinion) and stubborn people crammed into a mini van arguing over everything from directions to whether we should go to Denny’s, Smitty’s, or Perkin’s for lunch, the smell of sunflower seeds, or the argument over who “gets” to drive next? Through all of that, it’s still one of my favourite memories of 2011.

Hey hair..

Show season 2011, especially Fall Harvest. This season was full of ups and downs. Some of the highlights for me were not directly related to competing, but more related to the time spent outside of competition. I got to know my barn mates from McMullans quite a bit better this year. I’m closer with them then I’ve ever been with fellow competitors and that I love. It’s great to have their support at shows, and to support them. I especially loved hearing how well Lauren and Katie did in Alberta, and wished I could’ve been with them even just to watch! I’ve never felt more welcome then with McMullans and I hope 2012 brings more great things for all of us! Fall Harvest gets a special mention here because it was the one show where everything just worked. It was fitting that it was my last show of the year. From warm ups to the last class we had smooth rounds and a great pace. Finally everything I’d been working on clicked!

FHB Program. As much as I hated that job- it’s brought me some pretty incredible friends and has earned the right to be on this list. Among other things, I now know how to rate severity of fusarium head blight in my sleep, avoid sunburn, drive through mud and not get stuck (unlike the crop diagnostics crew (GARTH)), how to look like you’re working, job creation, how to get drowned gophers out of irrigation holes, how to rototill like a pro, how to play truth or dare, how to get stuck (hidden trenches suck), how to chase donkeys, how to snake up on certain organics crew members, every lyric to every top 40 song that came out between June and September, how to dig a trench, how to hoe, how to paint stakes (1-10,000), how quickly one goes insane when stuck inside a tiny room sorting seed, and the list goes on.

New Zealand. Obviously this was going to be on here! Although the trip isn’t over yet, here are some highlights- Auckland for the RWC semis and finals, working for an international level barn, leaving said barn, going on the rodeo circuit (or part of it), and everything I did on the South Island! Definitely not done here yet! Even though next to nothing has gone to plan or worked out as I originally wanted it to, this will still be something I’ll always remember. I’ve learned a lot already and had some great experiences. The best thing for me so far has been getting somewhere (finally) with my back problems. I’m sure that being a world away from my horse and not riding is a major component of these improvements. While I still worry a lot about if it will last once I start riding again- it’s still a relief to not be in pain all the time.

I’m more than ready for 2012 to get on it’s way! I’m sure it’s going to full of it’s own challenges, and plans gone wrong. But sometimes those make the best memories!

Turkey-less.

Merry Christmas everyone!!

It doesn’t quite feel like Christmas for me here. It’s been a balmy 25 degrees out the past few days and yesterday (Christmas Eve here) we had a family BBQ for our christmas lunch and opened presents. It was rainy in the morning, and I was able to imagine that the rain was snow falling- which helped it seem a little more legit. After lunch we sat outside in the sun and watched Dallas play with the foal. Very chill day. My gifts included a All Blacks Adidas scarf, one of the cool ones with pockets. Jordan and Brandon got me a pikarua necklace, which symbolizes the bonding of cultures and friendship. Alison got me a Koru, which is a beautiful glass sculpture that represents growth, new beginnings, harmony, love, and support. There was also lots of chocolate involved in the gifts. You can never go wrong with chocolate. Ever.

I’ve been living on straight baking for the past week or so, really not a good diet. On tuesday I made 48 tarts and about 50 gluten free gingerbread men (complete with icing). Thursday I made chocolate pb marshmellow cake, shortbread, and cherry surprises. I made two batches of shortbread, because the first batch I messed up big time. They still tasted awesome, but as soon as you even thought about touching them they would crumble into 10 pieces. The second batch was much sturdier.

On Wednesday I had another physio/osteo appointment. Where Dr. Charles was very impressed that I had actually done my exercises and could see dramatic improvement in my shoulder/back muscles. After a quick adjustment he was pleased to tell me that my next appointment should be my last. Fancy that, something I’ve been fighting with for a very, VERY, long time- solved in under 2 months… As it stands now, I haven’t had any problems with my back since my first appointment with him, almost a month ago. I think this is the longest I’ve been pain free in like 3 or 4 years. It probably helps a lot that I’m avoiding riding with all my being. I get offered horses a lot.. and I hate saying no, but I love not living in pain. So, for now, I’ll just continue taking pictures at rodeos and strengthening my own body so that I can hopefully continue being pain free when I start riding at home again. Fingers crossed!

Christmas here had many differences from home, including but not limited to:

No turkey. :(.
The temperature was nowhere near the negatives.
I applied sunscreen.
The children didn’t know what butter tarts were. Mine were the first they tasted. Yikes.
The BBQ was involved in cooking Christmas lunch.
It was generally just much more casual.
Since the kids here went to their dads for Christmas day, we had our Christmas day on Christmas Eve. So Christmas day I spent hanging out around the house, trying to avoid sugar with all my being (and failing), and skyping family members back in Canada. Different.
Another thing I noticed, not really related to Christmas at all, but the youth here are much more interested in going outside/physical activity for fun. The contrast between them and majority of North American youth is crazy. Another way NZ is about 10 years behind North America I guess.

In some ways all the differences help with keeping me away from homesickness. It truly doesn’t feel like Christmas to me, therefore I can’t really feel like everything Christmas usually is is missing. It just feels like an ordinary summer day. On the other hand, it feels weird not seeing family- well my usual family, as I am living with family right now. Also.. the whole no turkey thing.. just not cool. Heads up family back home, I’m going to want turkey real bad when I get back.

And stuffing.

Oh yeah! My hair has grown quite a bit already! I have a solid fuzz now. More so then a peach, but less so then a horse in mid winter. Two things I never thought I’d compare my head to.

Tomorrow, very early in the morning, I’m going with Alison and Dallas down to Gisbourne to do the southern rodeo circuit. I’ll be gone for a few days, so I’m sure I’ll come back with lots of photos and stories. This post probably isn’t too interesting. Forgive me, I’m dealing with a major sugar crash right now. On that note, I’m going to leave and eat some real food.

Excuse me, I mustache you a question.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

As most of you will know, just from reading this blog or through actually knowing me, I have had ongoing issues with my low back, hip, and shoulder. I’ve incurred most of these injuries if not all of them over the years through falls from riding. None of them overly bad falls, mind you, just because of the repetitive strain and growing weakness in different parts of my body I’ve ended up with constant, on going, problems. It really doesn’t help that up until November of this year (this goes about 5 years back), that I haven’t given my body a break to actually recover or get stronger. I’m sure I’ve annoyed many a physio/AT doing this. Sorry.

This summer was definitely the worst. I made next to no progress with therapy and exercises, but I also wasn’t willing to take a break from riding. Things got a little better after my last show, where I was finally able to take a few weeks and prepare for my trip to NZ and not worry about riding. Although things got better, I could tell the issue was still there. Nevertheless, I was determined to carry on with my plan to work at LC. No matter the cost to my body. After all, how much worse could it get? I’m so smart sometimes. The first while at LC, my back help up okay- it was more the shoulder that gave me problems. As I started riding more at the farm, however, the back issues kicked in again. By this point I had already decided that I hated it there and I wanted to leave. I still stuck it out another month, in which my back and hip got a whole lot worse. After I left the farm I was sure things would start improving again. And they did, for about 2 weeks. Then everything just went downhill again. The past 2-3 weeks, nothing I’ve done has deterred my back and hip from being constantly annoying. I was really hoping to avoid having to call in the pros while over here. Unfortunately though, I ended up going to a physio/osteotherapist today to get it checked out.. for the 5th time this year.

I’ve been told a couple different things over this year as to what’s going on with my body. I started out going to a Chiro in Carman, who basically told me nothing and fixed the problem for time periods of about 2 weeks. Useful. From there I say a physio in Carman, who told me I had a sprained hip. Sort of useful, but he also didn’t really tell me how to fix it, and stopped trying once he realized that I wasn’t going to quit riding in the meantime. This was around Xmas of 2010. After this, I started going to athletic therapy at the U of W. This is where I’ve had the most success. Here was the first time my SI joint was even brought up, and focused on. And I did start improving. I continued with this therapy all summer- as I refused to quit riding I never really progressed past the point of fixing the problem, but never actually fully recovering, and three weeks later ending back in the basement of the Duckworth being massaged and stretched. Because of this, I never really got a chance to purely strength train, without the added strain of riding consistently- which is what was needed. In August things started getting worse, really worse, and my AT sent me to Legacy Sports Clinic to get a second opinion. This was probably the most useless of them all. He basically told me that there was nothing wrong with me, and that I’m still at an age where I should be indestructible and all I need to do is up my strength training. He was probably right about the strength training, but when you’ve been in severe pain for a long time- you don’t really want somebody to tell you you’re fine. It makes you think you’re completely insane. So, for the rest of the summer I continued seeing my AT and making baby steps towards recovery.

This time around I was told something completely different, and useful. Instead of being told I have weakness in my core, and I need to strengthen that more to solve all my issues- it was my upper back and shoulders that were focused on. The weakness there is causing the issues in my left side SI and hip. Makes sense when you actually think about it. Especially when you look at riding form. The osteotherapist I saw explained to me that when one is riding, if they’re weak in there lat muscles it cause your shoulders to roll forward and the muscles in your seat are put through a lot more strain because of the position you’re in due to the poor posture. Weakness in your lat muscles can be cause from many different things, one of those being injuries in your rotator cuff (shoulder) muscles. He did some sort of cool muscle release, alignment, decompression stuff with me. The best way to describe it I guess would be something in between, or a love child of, traditional chiro and massage work. But it’s different from anything else I’ve had before. If you want more info on what Osteotherapy is, google provides quite a lot of info! I noticed immediate results. The day after seeing him was the first pain free day I’ve had in a very long time. Probably since I left home actually. It probably helps that I didn’t run off to ride or compete the day after (or the same day) as being treated.

Recovery is a choice. And it’s really starting to sink in that if I want to seriously pursue riding in the future, now is the time to get my shit together and make sure I have the body to do so. It just so happens that I’m 10,000 miles away from any temptation to ride my horse. How lucky! For years I’ve always had the view that the only way to advance in the sport was to do nothing but ride, and then ride some more. I wasn’t able to do that over the years because of other commitments, all of which improved me as an all-around athlete and person. It caused me a lot of stress to know that I was always going to be one, two, or three steps behind other riders who could commit all their time to the sport. And then when I was finally able to commit more to the sport, it caused me physical pain to do so. I really, really hope that I can use this time away from home to get stronger so that when I get home I can continue improving. Even though I’m not riding for the next 6 months, I’m training my body in different ways that will help in the long way. I have a great horse and great coaches waiting for me. It’s up to me now to make my goals happen.

5 days until I fly to Christchurch… 10 days until the big surprise! Ah!

From the pages..

The internet here has been very slow- that’s why I haven’t posted anything in a while. I want to post some pictures of the beach and my wanderings the past week and bit, but the low speed internet won’t permit that. So I figured I’d put a little bit on from my journal- just kind of a reflection piece I guess- most of you have probably heard all these stories from me before. If so, the other point of this post is to let all you out there know I’m still alive! Yay! Pictures will come soon, I promise! For now, here’s some thoughts from the pages of.. me? There’s news at the bottom of this post. I give you permission to skip down to that if you don’t feel like reading a novel first :). You’re welcome.

Nov 23- Change. It effects us all. Where were you 5 years ago? I was in 9th grade. A shy, reserved kid who dreamed of going to college in Alberta to study equine science. I played volleyball at school, but didn’t plan on playing many other sports- especially not basketball. I was bff’s with somebody who I never thought would leave my life, we were inseparable. Thinking back, this year had a few life changing moments I didn’t see coming. The first; Mr. Martin approaching me, asking (telling) me to come to JV basketball practice. After much convincing, I agreed to go. After all, Erica did it and I idolized her as the big sister I never had- and, if I hated it- I could quite anyway, right? Wrong. I came home from the first week of practices bawling. All the other girls were so much better then I, and I made so many mistakes and got yelled at so much. I can’t do it. I’m not going back! This idea ended quickly. Mom said I was at least finishing the season- no quitting- that was that. I’m forever grateful for this. Also for Mr. Martin including me in the team, tough love and all. I learned (started to) how to be tought and determined that year playing with the older “athletic” girls. This is where I first learned what being a true athlete means. That year I also got Will. He also was something that taught me how important confidence is.

Jump to 2 years ago. My grade 12 year. I now played every high school sport I could. Captain of volleyball, soccer, and basketball, as well as riding on average 4 times a week (often during school hours (spares.. of course..)). Through grades 10-12 I met Lyle Myers- who is definitely responsible for taking me to the next level of toughness. Character building as he would call it (I’m shaking my head as I write this). I remember when I first started training with him in the mornings, this would have been in grade 10. Joel, Pierre, Mackenzie, Garth and I would be in the gym every morning at 7am running sprints. Hell. Sometimes Mr. Martin would watch from his office. I always tried harder if he was watching. I swear this was why I got off the bench and got to play more Varsity in my gr. 10 year. As much as Lyle caused me physical pain and discomfort with his training- I can now see how much it helped and changed me as an athlete- and person. I’m sure anybody who knows Lyle, or has trained with him, would say the same thing. What a crazy old man. Back to my senior year. By this time I’d made many new great friends, most of which were on teams with me. My best friend who’d been by my side for 7 years decided that I wasn’t putting enough effort into her and all but cut me out of her life. What would high school be without a little drama, right? Those close to me know how much this effected me. As it would anyone I’m sure. To this day I still get confused about the whole situation- and it took me a long time to get over it. It didn’t stop me from pushing myself in every way I could.

Our basketball team made Provincials that year, after an amazing season. I’ll never forget what it was like to be apart of that 2010 team, and it still inspires me. That was true teamwork. Every time we pulled a one-point win out of our asses it was because of pure heart and athleticism. On the court, it was like we were one person. When we were on, nothing could stop us. No matter how much taller the other team was, or how many more players they had (often close to double our team in both height and numbers). I draw from the experiences I had that season all the time when I need a little reminder of what awesome feels like. I learned so much that year about people, myself, and life. But I guess that’s what high school if for. Setting you up to learn those things. I say “setting you up” because you re-learn a lot of things you thought you know as soon as you get into the real world. This same year, I was also faced with my coach of a year and a half pulling a giant con on Bluebear and in the process leaving me without a coach 3 weeks before my first time competing at a Gold (national) level show (Royal Manitoba Winter Fair). Putting on a brave face through this time was unbelievably hard. It felt like, yet again, I was being left behind and having to start all over.. again. With the help of Sheryl Feller, someone who’s been with me since the beginning of my riding career, I was able to keep training up to Fair week- where Wilf McKay took over as my temp show coach- a role he has filled a few times over the years.

It certainly wasn’t my easiest show. I had the added pressure (that I put on myself) of making a good impression on my future coaches Mike and Charlene. The days leading up to and the first few days of Fair week I was all but a nervous emotional wreck. I remember one morning I was reviewing my courses by the ring and Charlene came up beside me and helped me dissect the course. No introduction (not that she needed one), just straight to the point in that calm tone of hers. I relaxed so much after that. And had a very successful first showing at RMWF. That same year, I applied for the Miss Manitoba Pageant as a joke. Well, it started as a joke. Then I actually got accepted. And followed through with the whole thing. Swim suit competition and everything. I remember telling my mom about it, and her first reaction was laughing for about 5 minutes and then saying “they actually accepted you?!”. Thanks Mom. But also, thank you for letting me go through with it. To Dad too. I know how grateful you were when I only placed third (boo yah top 3!). I learned a lot from that. One that pageants are generally a money grab. Two- spray tans are really, really questionable. And useless. Three- confidence is beauty. It was something I never thought I’d do, but can now say that I successfully did. I’m very proud of winning 4/5 special awards, but also very very happy i didn’t win my category. It was just enough to remind me to believe in myself, because even when something seems insane chances are I’ll get through it, and learn a lot on the way.

Today, looking back on all the chaos that was the past few years- all the friends I’d gained, and lost, all the teachers and coaches who pushed and believed, all the things that cause me to break down, every lesson I learned the hard way- it all brought me to here and now. I have all of the above, and lots more (I could list everything.. but you’d be reading for as long as I’ve been alive probably. I’ll save you that), to thank for who I am today. So many memories, good and bad. I’ve grown and changed a lot since then. Made new friends, kept old ones, reconnected with some. I definitely couldn’t have handled some of the things I’ve dealt with in my first year of Uni, or in the past few months in NZ. I wouldn’t have had the confidence to come this far away from home if I hadn’t learnt how to believe in who I am early on. It just goes to show that everything-mo matter how devastating, amazing, hard, easy- benefits you if you let yourself learn from it. Living means changing constantly. We always have to be learning and adapting to keep up with our world. It’s okay to screw up, or to be different, or to be the rookie. How else do you gain experience? You gotta start somewhere. Live is either a daring adventure, or nothing.

Well, there’s your novel for today. Gonna have to buy a new journal soon. Don’t worry, not all the entries are that.. thoughtful.

In other news, as I said up top- the internet is slow. Those of you that have me on Fbook will have seen my pictures from the beach and the area around where I’m living. Lucky you! I’m still unemployed (although I’ve applied for probably close to 100 jobs- including going into town and handing out resumes in person), and still unable to drive standard. Which leaves me at the house a lot of the time. Cooking, baking, cleaning, reading (‘Tis by Frank McCourt if you were wondering- great read!), going for walks, just chilling. I’ve been trying to add more working out to get some strengthening accomplished for the good ol’ back/hip situation. I’m backing off on that though, as it’s STILL consistently bothering me. So no change on that front. I won’t get started on that.

I just realized I’ve been here for over 3 months already. Wow!

I’ve booked a ticket to Christchurch for Dec. 7, where I’ll be staying with some more family connections for a few days- then going down to Dunedin for the 12th to do something that I haven’t spilled on yet. With the exception of a select few (whom I expect to keep quiet). My only hint is that it’s something I never EVER thought I’d do. Actually, I’m pretty sure I’ve said once or twice that this is something I couldn’t and wouldn’t ever do. Well, I’m pushing myself to a new limit. December 12th something crazy goes down. Stay tuned for more on that.

After my weekend in Dunedin I haven’t quite decided what I’ll do. I might visit some other family connections that live not far from there, in Alexandra, and then head farther south and do some exploring there. Then back to Cchurch and eventually back to the North here in Whangarei where I’ll be for Christmas.

I’ll stop writing now, because this post has now reached the word count of a research essay. Also, there’s no pictures. That’s no fun! I’ll post again soon with some pictures and hopefully some adventures. There will definitely be more on December 12th’s events!

Ciao!

Spectrum

In less then 3 days since making my move North to my family’s place in Whangerei, I’ve gone from grooming for the rich/elite/ whatever show jumping barn, to roping steers and barrel racing at a local rodeo. Talk about opposite ends of the spectrum!

The first few days at my new home were pretty quiet. While everyone else was away at work or studying for exams- I stayed in the house, cleaned (yes mom, I cleaned), and baked. As the weekend came, things got a bit more exciting- roping and barrel time! I went with Alison and Diva, her horse, about an hour and a half to Paparoa where the Northland District Team Roping Club was having a club day.

Saturday consisted of practice time for the 5 or 6 of us there. The group joked that I was their new groom- but soon had me practicing heeling with the steer dummy and put me on a horse. Hutch, who’s horse I was riding, was quite surprised when he found I had tacked up the horse in all it’s western gear and hadn’t asked a single question. Who knew the show jumping groom could double as a cowgirl? Thank you 6 years in 4H and numerous western horses I’ve ridden and worked with over the years. Plus, I am Canadian. The first thing I had trouble with was when Hutch told me to “build a loop” in my rope. The response he got was me looking down at the rope in my hands, and promptly back at him with a “uhhh.. whaa?” expression. After a good 3/4 hours of Roping 411, I still don’t have a hot clue how to build a loop. That’s the only thing I really had a issue with. Apparently I’m a natural at the actual roping. I mean- I didn’t actually go full speed, chase down a steer, and rope it. BUT- I did catch a steer by the end of the day… from a walk, and with a lot of luck- I was on a horse, and I threw the rope- so it counts!! It’s definitely not easy. And it’s definitely frustrating. But it’s also addicting! I caught myself quite a few times, and my horse. Who was very patient and knew his job. Thank god.

Sunday was a points competition for Team Roping and Barrels, and more people showed up. I was put on Hutch’s other, younger, less trained horse to run barrels. For a kid who has never run real barrels, only the slow (on a pleasure horse) 4H version, running full speed on a young horse that’s never done barrels before- I (according to Alison and other spectators) did quite well.

It was amazing to see the differences between what I saw this weekend, and what I’ve experienced on the other end of things. I have to say, the people on this end of things are much more relaxed, easy going, and fun to be around. They were very supportive and so willing to teach me all they could and all I was willing to learn. There was never a face without a smile for too long- everybody was having fun. I was accepted into the “rodeo” family, no questions asked. Before even finding out if I could ride worth anything I was offered a horse to ride for the weekend and went out with the group to bring the steers in from the field. I was lent show clothes so I could compete on Sunday, and trusted enough to be put on a young inexperienced horse. It was said many times over the weekend “everybody here is treated equally”, and that statement was very obvious. Everybody there was at different levels in their riding and skill- but everybody there was equally happy and learning. Nobody was unhappy if they didn’t catch on their runs, because everybody was cheering them on anyway. It was nice to be a part of that sort of community. You don’t often get that in the show jumping world- at least not in such an obvious way. I haven’t seen that many smiling faces at a competition since.. 4H Provincials- the year our team theme was Gangster and the three boys made up that rap for the big supper night. Uncomplicated would be the best word to describe things “on this side” of the spectrum. Simple. Oh, and another bonus? Things don’t get started until 10 or 11 am. Big change from getting up at 5:30 am on show days to work all day and then repeat (I told the group this was what I’m used to.. almost got laughed out of town). I’m being spoiled here!

While I did have fun and learn lots while working at LC- I’m realizing stuff like what I experienced the past couple days at the rodeo is almost more valuable to me. I made so many local connections that may play a part in finding me a job- or just as friends in the future. I’ve been reminded many times already that I definitely made the right choice in moving up here. Don’t worry though, I’m not going to come home and turn Willard into a barrel racer. Besides- I don’t think he could handle the rodeo scene. Too many cows.

Here are some snapshots from the weekend, click on the picture for a larger view.

Different perspective

Skillsss.

Of rabbits, spiders, and sunsets.

Some stuff I may or may not have known before:

When somebody says you’re too “Manitoba lifestyle”. Don’t get insulted. Just go with it.
My hair is now blonde. Not much ginger left. My tan is also gone. Except for my face. Thank you working on a horse farm.
Relating to the above- sunscreen, sunglasses, hat are good everyday items now that summer is getting started.
Beetroot is in everything here. If you don’t like it when you arrive, chances are you will when you leave. Good thing I love it!
Bending and lifting with your knees is a very valuable life lesson- especially when you’re spending 8 hours a day de-docking/weeding huge paddocks.
Stretching is awesome. Don’t let anybody tell you differently.
Working out really does give you more energy.
Genetics play a part in whether you’re a morning person or not. Thank you mom, for enabling me to wake up at 5:45 am without an alarm. Not sure if that’s a curse or a blessing yet.
Bacon is awesome here too. I know you all were wondering.
Graham crackers don’t exist here- they actually have nothing even close. Trust me, I had a good conversation with a store clerk in a super market and she was very confused as to what I was looking for. Weird, right?
Baby rabbits are possibly definitely the cutest thing ever.
Learn how to drive standard before coming to a country where majority of the vehicles are standard. It might help you out a little bit.
There are some huge spiders here, that lurk in thistles and hop onto your arm as you pick up said thistle. Not a fan. I kid you not it was the size of a small child’s fist.
It is possible to live on under$250 a week and still save money- sort of.
The ocean at sunset is amazing.
I’ve learnt that I have a huge obsession with coconut. I looked in the cupboard the other day and realized that all three of my different granola bar boxes contained coconut. Plus I have coconut chocolate ice cream (fantastic). And coconut stir fry sauce. Yikes.

Per usual, the days are flying by and full of work work and more work. I spent two days this week helping Alan de-weed the paddocks. This process involved him weed wacking the large dock plants down, and another groom and I going around and picking up the weeds and piling them in our Mule (golf cart). We spent two days doing this job- it quite reminded me of work at the research farm- also had similar effects for my back. Nonetheless, I survived. Some might argue that this isn’t what we grooms should be doing at work, but I liked the change- even though it was hard on my body. A big topic of conversation right now at work is hay. We’re currently running on a very limited supply- and when you have about 25-30 horses to feed 3-4 times a day, that’s not good. This means that in the morning we feed half a slice of hay mixed with some haylege (god knows what it is- a very very rich type of hay that comes vacuum wrapped and is kinda damp when you open it and smells weird); at lunch we cut grass from different areas around the farm and feed that, and supper is the same as the morning feed. Night check gets only hay. Hopefully we can find some more hay soon- cause running a horse farm without it gets kinda complicated.

I haven’t ridden all week, as I’ve been trying to get my body back on track. I’m scheduled to ride tomorrow while Kyle is away at a show so we’ll see how that goes. I’ve started getting up extra early to add working out back into my schedule. So far it’s been going really good and I hope I can keep up with it. There has been some talk of changing our work schedule (currently the hours are 7am-5pm (never ends up being 5) with a 1.5 hour break for lunch from 12:30 (1pm more like) until 2)- either we would have a half an hour longer lunch and finish later- to allow time for the temp to cool off so the horses don’t get too warm in their rugs. The other option is to start at 6am and work straight until 1pm with no morning break and then break for the afternoon until 4 to feed and put rugs on. Or, keep it the same. No decisions have been made yet, I think we’re going to try out the different options and go from there. Either way, we’re still working long hours 6 days a week and getting paid the same amount ($250 a week (works out to under $5 an hour))- so I don’t really care what the time is.

Today has been full of de-cobwebbing. All the houses, and stables have to be dewebbed as we are having some pest control people come in to spray, which will apparently keep bugs/spiders away. We’ll see how well it works. They only took 6 horses to the Northland show this weekend, so three of us stayed home to manage the farm. Along with our pet rabbit, Mopsy.

Here are some pictures from a recent venture to the ocean side!