Life

Making a suppressed rider happy

I’m realizing it’s not actually that long since I wrote last. And that this is going to be my second post today. And third this week. Awhaaa?

I guess I’ll keep it short then! Thursday I got to ride my old friend Sonny at Horse Connection, and our intention that morning was “Patience”. Definitely something he needs to develop a little more of.

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“Look at me, I’m so perfect!”

Lucky for him I match his stubborness play for play. The most significant exercise we did that morning, after putting him through his regular paces, was just standing still and “being” for about 15 minutes. Oh boy. 5 minutes in and he was thinking I should consider calling it home time. Oh brother, 10 minutes we were digging to China. Annnd then the mind games went in my favour and we stood still and relaxed for another 5 minutes. Then he got to leave the ring. I know. I’m such a slave driver.

After spending my night off Thursday accomplishing nothing productive (except for going to the gym for the first time in what feels like years), I was on strict orders from Emily to a) not take back my shift at work and b) NO SCHOOL WORK. So I wandered around with her for the evening. Friday, my busy day, went by quickly and before I knew it I was hopping around under the lights trying to keep warm, assessing concussions, and watching my underdog team win their semi-final game. We didn’t get off the field until 11:30, which meant I didn’t get to get until close to 3:30AM (coaching staff was very insistent the trainers join the “debriefing” at Tavern). This lead to a relatively unproductive Saturday. However, the weather was just too perfect to be stuck inside writing about the physiological and psychological effects of massage on a rowing athlete. I got some of my own physiological and psychological benefits by riding both my horses and heading out across the fields with Mom for the afternoon.

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Willard surprised me in a couple ways. For one, I was able to get his girth on without too much struggle (he is a little chubby..), and secondly, he hasn’t been touched since the end of August– so getting on him I was slightly apprehensive and ready for psycho-horse to emerge- but he was decently sane the entire time! He seemed equally as happy to be out and about with me as I was with him.

Felix! He is really starting to grow into himself (seriously, take a look at those pictures!). I haven’t been on him since Carman Fair in July, but mom has been riding him throughout the fall and I am so excited about everything to do with him! He’s developing a little bit more attitude, but for the most part, he is SO willing. His jog just floats, and his lope is gorgeous to sit. I wish it was spring so I could be on both my boys more often!

Sunday I got a little more horse time, this time playing the role of coach.

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Week to week, it’s so great to see these two improving and gaining confidence in themselves and each other. The past couple weeks have come complete with a few new challenges and speed bumps for them- all part of the growing process. I’m so happy to see the right instincts there and developing. It’s honestly one of the highlights of my week, every week, to work with these two.

The remainder of my weekend was spent working and finishing up my first (unfortunately not last) paper of the year. 12 pages down, god knows how many more to go! That’s my week in a nutshell. Things I’m looking forward to in the next week? Playing in the Investor Group Stadium (by playing, I mean hanging out by the 50-yard line and dealing with injuries)!

I’ve been managing my time like a pro lately, and really hope I can keep up with that over the next few weeks. Now, to work on sleeping!

Am I done yet?

Just kidding, I love school. Most of the time. Sort of? Ask me again when I’ve recovered from midterms.

It’s been one thing after another, as usual, this week. Between midterms, my car breaking down, and then being fixed, but actually not being fixed and breaking down again, not getting to work, taking two too many cabs, midterms midterms midterms, awards banquets, more Thanksgiving, wanting more sleep, assignments….. and everything else… Lets just say I’m tired.

I just finished my last midterm (of 5) today.. Last Wednesday I had two of my bigger ones. That was lots, by half way through the second one of the day I was starting to wind down. I haven’t quite been able to get my studying mojo back. My brain is in full rebellion mode, and I don’t really feel like fighting it to be honest.

Now that midterms are over with, it’s time to really stop procrastinating on some of the assignments I have. Instead, what do you think I’m thinking about? Riding. I think I have the MHJA year end awards banquet to thank for that one. Hanging out with the McMullan Team this weekend, seeing many fellow riders get well deserved recognition for accomplishments this season, and discussing goals for next year- how could I not just want to jump back into training full time and forget about school? While I am getting some of my barn fix with Horse Connection, I’m really craving that feeling you get after a great course, or after a lesson. Or just after a good ride on my own horse. I know I would miss my “other life” in school and all these other goals I have. But, grass is always greener.. right?

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M&C. The impact these two people have had on my life, and the lives of countless others is astounding.

As much as I can’t really be riding as much right now, I’m being presented with a few opportunities to tie in my career goals in the AT world with my goals in the riding world. A proposal from a prof in regards to brainstorming ideas around a functional training program based around things one does on a farm came about around the same time my boss at MORfit proposed that each staff member come up with some sort of class to teach, or event to run. This combined with my longstanding plan to form a fitness program tailored to the equestrian athlete is definitely causing some ideas to float around. If anyone reading this has some specific things they would like to work on, or questions about how a training program could help your riding- please let me know! I’m very much still in the brain storming phase.

The thing that’s becoming painfully obvious about this year in Uni is that, for me anyway, we’re getting to do just enough hands on stuff to make you want to do more and be done with all the lectures and in-between things.  Especially because I am able to integrate what I’m learning into more than one of my work places and volunteer opportunities. Sitting in assessment lecture just is not quite the same as actually getting to do an assessment. Just like practicing in taping lab just doesn’t cut it when you have been doing it in real life. At the same time, all these classes make us realize how much there is to know.. and how little of it we actually know.

This past week a classmate and I ended up accepting the position of Vice Presidents of the Kinesiology Student’s Association, which is a partner of our other student association, WATSA (Wesmen Athletic Therapy Student Assoc.). We had been wanting for a while to become more involved, so this was kind of a “go big or go home” response. I’ve had very minimal experience in student politics, with small roles in high school. Nothing, however, to this scale of responsibilities. I’m both looking forward to the new role, but also hoping it doesn’t completely overload my schedule. Another thing I said yes to was a paid research assistant position with the same prof mentioned above, who I have been working with the older adults fitness class. He received a grant to continue with research, and I gratefully accepted the chance to be a part of it. Why not, right?

I’m hoping this week brings some time to get my feet back under me. I’m pretty much headed to bed once I push publish on this sucker.. it’s 9:30. Here’s hoping I get my car back tomorrow (9 business days and counting it’s been at the shop), and that I also find some of my energy too.

Monty at Horse Connection

Monty at Horse Connection

 

 

My week in pictures (and some words)

Because it’s the middle of midterm season and I am still working on a legit post for you I’ll give you a quick run down of my week in mostly pictures, and some brief words!

Monday: IMG_4658 IMG_4656 Leaves and pizza. Not a bad day, eh? I was late for the older adults class I help run because I was changing batteries in the pedometres for the class (if you ever want a frustrating and tedious job, that is a good choice). Whatevs. Then during my 5 hr break before Massage class, I made almond crust pizza (yes it’s as amazing as it sounds), and had a follow up with my ND- who took away all my grains again. We had been experimenting with adding other grains like Oats, spelt, barley, etc back into my diet. With no luck. I can have dairy though! Which isn’t really that exciting as I’ve gotten pretty used to living without it anyway.

Tuesday:

Spent the morning practicing my taping with my football supervisor (she was great enough to run me through scenario after scenario, putting some pressure on me in prep for my practical exam). Then was in a horrible “dart” accident in first responder class, where my lab partner did an excellent job securing my wound..

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After class I headed to work where I had a quiet evening spent with a text book, and got to do my first forearm deep tissue massage on a client with the AT. Holla.

Wednesday:

During my second 5 hr spare of the week, I did a whole lot more taping practice with my lab partner. Running through some of the same scenarios I did with Nikki the day before.

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Spent some time in the gym with my bff (like omg) Emily and after class headed home for some downtime where I made some cake before heading to yoga class.

Mm, paleo chocolate zucchini cake.

Mm, paleo chocolate zucchini cake.

Thursday:

I don’t have any pictures for Thursday.. it’s always my craziest (but also favourite) day of the week.

Headed for my shift at Horse Connection, where only 2/4 of the kids for the day showed up- so I was re-delegated to doing some saddle time with Sonny boy. I realized that morning that I was living my 13yr old self’s dream job.. as a horse trainer and teaching riding.. and getting paid to do it. #awesome

After work, since I was done a bit early, I went home and ate some left overs before heading to school for class and my first midterm(s) (gulp). Taping and splinting written and practical. Written was a breeze, and although I got a little bit nervous sitting outside the room waiting to walk into my scenarios for the practical (who wouldn’t get nervous in that situation), as soon as I walked into the room and got my first scenario I flipped into “Trainer Kat” mode and there was no looking back. Thank you football for giving me the ability to at least fake confidence and get things done. I feel pretty good about how I finished the practical exam, and I haven’t remembered too many things that I forgot to do- so that has to be a good sign.

After my exam I headed to my second workplace of the day, MORfit. The AT was much busier this evening and he had me do quite a bit for him. After sitting in on an new assessment while stepping out every once in a while to teach exercises to another client, I got to do deep-tissue on plantar fascia and calves as well as another full fore arm massage. Plus stretch out a few clients. My hands were pretty useless after the past few days- taping, more taping, lots of massaging, and writing. Hopefully they build up endurance!

Friday:

One word. UNBURGER. Man I love that place. A classmate and I headed there for lunch after she finished class and I finished getting a deep tissue massage of my own.

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From there I headed home to get ready for football, and when I went to leave for football my car decided it had plans to not start for me. Seriously. After accepting the fact that I wasn’t going to get to Transcona in time to be of much use to the team, sorting out a tow truck and seeing my car get taken away, realizing our game was actually quite close to my apartment, and convincing my roomie to drive me to it- I was back on track for my Friday night. Nikki told me she had a minor freak out when I texted her telling her I wasn’t going to be there for pre-game stuff- realizing she had to tape the entire team alone. It was kind of nice to hear in that context how much I do help! I was glad I was still able to make the game, even though it was uneventful injury wise- it was my first game “under the lights”!

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After football, since I really just wanted ice cream, but had no transportation, I decided to go for a run (at 9:30pm in a storm) to get a pumpkin pie blizzard. Why not, right? The walk back with my ice cream was so worth it, even if I was walking into the wind pummelling me with rain. You gotta do what you gotta do.

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Saturday/Sunday: Let the eating begin! I love thanksgiving.. so so much! And I get two weekends of it!

Sunday also brought a quite productive lesson with my private client. It’s so nice to see her and her horse progress week to week, and hear about the small changes she is seeing in herself and in her horse as the weeks go by!

Home, your random essay for the week

Not too long ago I wrote the following essay for a local writing contest, I thought I’d put it up here now after the contest has ended for you lovely readers to enjoy! The topic was “Life with horses or My life with my horse”. I took a bit of an abstract route (when do I not?). 

“My life with horses has taken me on unbelievable adventures, gotten me over many obstacles (literally, and figuratively), and taught me many life lessons. Most of all, though, the life I’ve had with horses has taught me the meaning of home.

 

Home by classical definition is the place where you live. I prefer to define home by the popular expression: “home is where the heart is”. My heart lives in many places, but since the days when galloping across fields on my first horse- there is a permanent piece of my heart lodged within riding. The past couple years, and the ups and downs that have come with them, have solidified for me horses will always center me.

 

There was a short period of time where I thought I had lost that piece of my being. When I left home, in the physical sense, my family, friends, horse, and coaches, to move across the world to New Zealand to work for a prominent show jumping farm- I thought I would be stepping into a fantastic dream. My life was turned upside down, or so it felt, by what went from a dream to a nightmare fairly quickly. Horses, riding, the things that were once so familiar and grounding for me- were now the things that I was dreading facing in the early mornings. I was in the middle of learning a tough life lesson; sometimes you have to step away from something you love to discover who you really are.

 

For someone who had moved across the planet to spend as much time as possible in the saddle, running in the opposite direction remains to this day one of the hardest, but most necessary things I’ve ever done. I was shaken to my core by how much I had been beaten down by something I had always, and was supposed to love. Did the fact that I quit this job mean that I was a failure, that I didn’t really love my sport? At the same time, I knew in my heart that I needed to take that step. I needed to find out what it felt like to be away from that passion. Much later on I would realize that this was just another way my life with horses was leading me towards who I was meant to be, in a very indirect way.

 

The day I got in my cousin’s car and drove away from those horses, those people, and that experience- I felt all at once like the world had been lifted from my shoulders and like I had absolutely no idea who I was anymore. That’s scary enough for anyone, let alone a 19 year old ten thousand miles from everything familiar to her. I left one side of the horse world, and drove into another. My kiwi relatives were very involved with the rodeo circuit, and within a few day of arriving at their place I was at a rodeo, running barrels on a horse I met 10 minutes prior, surrounded by some of the happiest people I’ve ever met. From one end of the spectrum to the next; rich show jumping facility to maori cowboys. This was the last time I got on a horse for the next 4 months, however. As much as I felt some of my old ambition and drive returning, my heart was still in need of a break. Even though I didn’t physically get on a horse for a while, I remained on the rodeo circuit and was blessed with amazing family, new friends, and unforgettable memories. It was through some of these experiences that I was able to start showing compassion for the side of me that changed my original course.

 

In the time I had taken away from being in the saddle, even while surrounded by horses and horse people, I took the time to do some soul searching. I let myself laugh, I let myself explore, I gave myself permission to be interested in new things. I discovered that its okay to have more than one dream to follow, and more importantly, that it’s good to allow those goals to evolve. During this period I decided that I wanted to change my course of education when I moved back to Canada, which has turned into one of the best decisions I’ve made.

 

In my last couple months in the southern hemisphere, I was road tripping and seeing as much as I could. This took a hit to my funds, and even after shaving my head for $650, my travel fund was not satisfied. The opportunity came up to exercise steeple chase horses for a successful trainer in Napier, and I could not refuse. Here, watching the sun rise over the breath taking hills I was galloping horses over ever morning, was where I began to trust myself and understand a little more about myself. That dark place I had been in at the beginning of my travels was still fresh, but there were so many other exhilarating memories that had been formed.  Riding those horses every morning renewed my ambition for the sport, and my goals within it. Working at high speeds where one misstep could be disastrous has a way of waking you up, physically and spiritually. That silent conversation that occurs, that completely unique language between horse and rider- I could still speak it. The difference now was that I had more capacity in my heart for both riding and the other goals I now knew were important to me as well. I had a greater understanding for who I could become, if I allowed myself to listen to what my heart needed, and allowed myself to take the road less travelled once in a while.

 

All these self-discoveries took time to sink in. When I arrived back in Canada, I was overwhelmed at first with the feeling of actually being home. While travelling I had always been “homesick” for the familiar things, like Thanksgiving dinner with my family, or having a lesson on my horse with my beloved coaches. The little things, like how the air smells during a prairie fall, or the first snow of the year. The things we take for granted. Upon arriving home to all those old familiars, I was soon “away-sick” for all those unfamiliar things you experience when travelling.  It was then I started realizing how home is so much more than a physical dwelling. Our hearts take us on the most amazing adventures if we allow it, but sometimes even our hearts need a guide. For me my guide has always been through horses. Getting on my horse for the first time in 9 months, after riding many different horses, and not riding for the longest I’ve gone without- was when I really knew I was home. It’s become the gravity for my life. Being in the saddle enables me to both clear my head, and focus my ambition. Whether it be directly horse related, or career orientated- my horse-life seems to renew my drive when I run out of gas. Since returning from the up and downs that were New Zealand, I have found myself more dedicated to the things that are truly important to me. I’ve worked harder then ever at my studies, in my riding, and been happier then I can remember being.

 

Of course this brief story of my travels and life lessons gained through horses is just that, a brief story. I’ve been involved with horses for over half my life- and could write a novel on the lessons I’ve learned through those experiences. What I’ve shared in this piece, however, is part of what was a defining year for me in what is sure to be many more years learning and living with horses. I guess I could tie in two expressions to this story- firstly that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and home is where the heart is. I had to go away from my home, and from what I love to discover where my heart was, how much I could love and strive for, to realize that home is so much more than a physical space. “

Dates with Confidence and Humbleness

Below is an excerpt from the blog I keep for UW’s AT program, as part of my final grade in the practical aspect of the courses. I thought I’d share that with you as majority of my time this past week has been spent on school related things- most of which I encompass in that post. I am working on another post to put up here in the next few days (maaaybe even today) that will cover some of the other things going on in my life! Patience!

“Ah, the life of a student- especially an AT student. There is one word we can all identify with, I’m sure, by this point in the year. Exhaustion.

Between classes, football, work (where I’m getting to do some clinical things as well), and a few other extra curriculars- I’m learning a new definitely of tired; physically, mentally, and emotionally. However, even while being completely exhausted majority of the time- I’ve had a great couple weeks experience wise!

Football has been pretty quiet the past couple weeks. Unfortunately I am only able to be there game days right now, but I hear all about the week’s practices on Fridays while doing the pre-game taping. Our game last week came with a tough loss for the team, but a thrilling 5th digit PIP joint dislocation and an interesting contusion to lateral aspect of the knee with some irritation of the sub-patellar bursa. This week’s game was even quieter, with the only coming off the field was a decent ankle inversion sprain.

I know you’re all dying to know how my heel-locks are doing. Last weekend, since I’d been making slow progress, I decided to spend a good chunk of time dedicated to perfecting my heel-lock. So I stole a friend’s ankle and went to work. I’m happy to report that this week at football not only did I absolutely nail my heel-locks- but also incorporated some very nice figure-8 heel-locks into my ankle inversion taping. Maybe some of Ron O’Neil’s magic rubbed off on me, or maybe my muscle memory is starting to finally wake up- but I’m not having near as much trouble with angles as I was even a week ago. Yay!

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The most significant AT related moment for me the past two weeks came not from the football field, but rather from working with a few clients at work with the AT there. When I’m on shift at the same time as Claude he usually has me help out with a few clients, one of which I’ve been stretching for the past 4-5wks as well as helping with some exercises. This client is a rugby player and quite a bit bigger than I am, and Claude had me start doing stretches with him so I could gain some experience with how to get my biomechanics right when pnf-ing clients who have the size advantage. It’s definitely a more challenging experience- especially with a table that’s not adjustable. It took me a few weeks to figure out what positions worked best for me and still got the job done. The past two weeks the client himself has pointed out how much more effective I’ve gotten. My favourite quote thus far has been “either she’s getting stronger or I’m getting weaker every week”. Claude’s response to that was “she’s just gaining confidence in her abilities”. Fist pump moment. This experience has also helped me in stretching some of my footballers pre-game.

A more embarrassing moment from the past couple weeks, comes again from the clinic at work, where I was observing a new assessment on a shoulder with Claude. We had just covered this in assessment and I was following along quite easily. Until Claude started quizzing me. Simple questions like “what muscle does this?” or “what am I pointing to right now?” or “what’s your IOS based on what we’ve got so far?”. While part of my brain was saying “supraspinatus”, “teres minor”, and “ RC impingement or bursa issues”, the other part which was connected to my mouth was going “uhhhhhh…crap.. I know.. just give me a minute…”. #awkward

So that was good.. There’s always something to keep us humble, right?

My goals for the next couple weeks are to obviously have less “@#$% I don’t know” moments both at work and on the field. I feel like the only way to have less of those is to continue pushing myself out of my comfort zone by saying yes to every opportunity I get to do an assessment, or at least be involved. Eventually my brain will hop on board the thinking train.”

 

 

Some exciting things I did this week (nerd alert)

Two posts in one day?? I’m impressed with myself. This never happens!

I’ll keep this one short and sweet, because most of it is super nerdy, and it’s my second post within 24 hrs. Also if I waited til next week either I’d forget half the stuff I wanted to write about, or you’d end up with a monster of a post.

I had an interesting week in many respects, and I’m not going to list all the interesting things because that would just be too much. In an attempt to keep it brief, I will now list some of the better aspects of the past 7 days:

  • Accepting a new job
    Okay, so maybe not that new. The volunteer position I took with Horse Connection turned into a paid assistant instructor position early this week. Which really only changes a few things- instead of one morning a week leading a horse around a ring and doing some assisting with students, I now am there two mornings a week and will assist in the lesson plans and eventually take over some of the theory classes with the kids. Kinda cool, pretty excited about it- a little unsure on how the extra time commitment will effect my sanity. This will be my third paying job. However, it is something I really want to be involved in- and upon discussing the basis of Horse Connection with a prof- I realized that this could also provide me with some potentially very interesting topics and experience to put towards my degree and eventual career.
  • Getting frustrated and working through it (on horseback)
    We’ve all had those rides. Where it feels like nothing you do is making a difference. This week I had two of them. Really boosting for the spirit… The horse I’ve been working with for the above listed job has been somewhat of a challenge this week. Last week when I recalled my experiences with him, you’ll remember I was quite happy with his progress. Horses keep us humble, of course, so clearly this meant we had to have a week of stubborness and frustration to follow up that excellent ride last week- right? That’s how it works in the riding business. One step forward, three steps back. The first ride of the week was just brutal. The horse I remembered from the previous week was long gone- I was now riding a straw bale with attitude. Probably didn’t help that I went into the arena with a negative attitude and a headache. Lets just say I didn’t do an awesome job of separating my own frustrations from my job as a rider that day. The horse wasn’t all to blame. The next time I got on this week I was prepared to deal with myself a little better. Sonny was still a stubborn brat. But instead of getting angry and taking it out on both of us, I made myself take a step back before we reached that point and only resumed work with Sonny when I was a little calmer. This helped, quite a bit. I won’t say we made a tonne of progress, but we made more then we had previously. As I was told by the owner at LC Farms once when I was working with a young horse in front of him.. “You must look at yourself before you can ask ze horse to listen” (imagine a heavy french accent, the quote is much more profound that way).
  • Bought a watch, felt like a grown up
    This one doesn’t need too much elaboration. It was a little bit of retail therapy mixed with actually needing to acquire a time piece for my wrist. To go along with the feeling like a grown up- I actually cooked some real meals this week! Squash and veggie medley with chickpeas and bacon, spinach pasta with meat sauce, and bison with rosemary and basil veggies. Look at me, acting all adult and stuff. 

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  • Got a little bit more hands on
    I was going to title this section “getting handsy” but then I figured that was a little creepy. Anyway. Classes have been getting much more practical lately, as mid-terms approach way to quickly. However, outside of the classroom I’ve been able to gain some exciting new experience in the clinic at work- as well as of course on the field at football. Thursday with the AT at MORfit I got a chance to practice my massage skills on real life patient for the first time! I had zero idea what I was doing, but it was great! Another patient who I’ve been stretching for the past 3 weeks or so also commented: “Either she’s getting stronger, or I’m getting weaker” to the AT- who responded with “that’s because she’s getting more experienced and doing a great job”. Yessss! The next day at football I was relaying some of those experiences to my supervisor there- regarding the massage and not knowing what I was doing, she had this to say: “that’s okay, you’ll soon get to the point where it’s like reading a book through your hands”. Speaking of football, we had an interesting game this Friday- the most exciting injury was a very dislocated distal interphalangeal joint on the 5th digit (aka the first joint of the pinky finger). I got to play shock control (aka distract the heck out of the poor guy) while we splinted it and got the player ready to head to a hospital. I also got to explain to the coaches many times why legally we cannot just “pop it back in”. The finisher to my argument was showing them a picture of the player’s hand (since we had already stabalized and covered it)- which generally resulted them in quickly agreeing with me and walking quickly in the other direction. Nothing like a little bit of gore to settle things. My supervisor said many times that she was so happy to have me around, and that her job is so much easier with another set of hands and another opinion on some of the more challenging issues we have come up more often now that the season is in full swing. Which was great to hear after a long week. Thursdays and Fridays always seem to be good days, even if the rest of the week is insanity.

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  • Practicing to make perfect
    I also made a point of thinking my way through the heel-lock portion of my ankle taping. For whatever reason this section of the tape job always gets me, and I swear I’m the only one- everyone else thinks they are simple. It’s all in the angles. And you cannot pick a fight with tape- you will never win. Friday I did my best on the ankles at football, but again just couldn’t get that perfection I want. My ankle taping is always very functional, it’s just the presentation side of it I’m wanting to perfect. Saturday I actually just sat down and thought my way through the physics of it a few times. Sunday I stole a friends ankle and practiced the crap out of the maneuver. I’m happy to report that I figured it out, I found the angle I need to make it simple. The picture below is literally an entire roll of tape put into heel-locks one on top of the other, trying to cement the technique I figured out into my hands. Now, I’m hoping muscle memory will start kicking in. It’s only taken me a year to wrap my head around the angles, it has to be only forward motion from here.

 

 

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So, there you go. A bunch of things crammed into a short post to sum up another week katmah style!

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Rain

Laying in bed, listening to a light rain fall- and every once in a while getting a breeze float through the window filling the room with that lovely fresh rain smell. Remember the NZ flash backs I talked about in this post? This cued one. Replace the sound of traffic outside with the sound of various exotic birds (and not that damn crow that lives outside my window now) and replace the security of being home with the insecurity of being in the middle of a difficult experience. This is me, 2 years ago (already?).
I know- I talk about NZ too much. I think about it more even more than I verbalize. I’m still trying to sort through some of the experiences I had. I’m still not over some things.
Is that a bad thing? No, probably not. Is it stressful? Yes.
One of the things they teach us about injury healing and prevention in musculoskeletal care is that a structure strengthens along the lines of greatest stress. This is why strength training works. The more you progressively stress a structure, the stronger it gets– to a point of course, too much immediate stress and that structure reaches a breaking point. In rehab, after an injury, if the right stresses aren’t applied- you get a mess of scar tissue plastered over the damaged area helter skelter as the body tries to repair itself. Or, in a simpler example, look at a callous or a blister. An area where too much friction is applied because of mechanical disfunction- the body comes up with a way to protect itself.
Where am I going with this long winded analogy?
I can’t decide if I’m applying the right stresses to my healing process, or if I’m building up a callous to things I should be listening to.
The things from NZ that I’m still working through are coming through in my present experiences. A lot of the same choices I was having trouble with then, I’m now having trouble with here.
You’d think after living through them once I’d be aptly prepared to handle similar things better now. Of course things aren’t exactly the same as before. Actually the details of both situations seem completely different in many ways.
Sometimes when I think of some parts of NZ it seems very surreal. It always seemed to be either extremely amazing or really awful. I had some of the best and the toughest days there. I met some of the greatest, most caring people, and also some of the most.. Challenging individuals. I also had to come face to face with myself many times. I came home from all those ups and downs having a pretty solid feel for who I was and what I could be. I also came home with a lot of things to think about.
Presently, I seem to be going through a similar thing. Except this time I feel like I should know how to handle things better- yet I sometimes feel more conflicted then I would feel waking up in that damp staff house at LC Farms early every morning. In a lot of ways I almost wish I could go back to the other side of the world to sort through all these things away from the familiar. Because often it’s the familiar things that cloud my thoughts. At the same time, I know I should be grateful for the support I have here, in person, when I need it- because going through all those scary transitions by myself 10,000 miles away from home was really hard.
I know I usually end these reflective posts with something I’ve learned and how it’s going to help me. I also usually write these kind of posts after I’ve gone through the experience and have something to show for it. I’m writing this one in the middle- and right now I don’t have too much to take from it other then inner conflict. I’m not sure where I’m going with this- because I’m not sure what decisions to make or what to tell myself.
For right now I guess I just continue to listen to the rain.

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My new nickname and somehow achieving goals

I’ve had such an up and down couple weeks! One day I can come home completely exhausted and de-motivated, and then the next I will have absolutely everything completely inspire me and tell me I’m exactly where I want to be. Between it all I turned 21, and am managing to stay on track and achieve little goals everyday. Somehow.

I just finished writing a blog post for my practicum requirements- it had “surviving” in the the title. Which should give you a good idea of how I feel about everything right now. I’m making it happen, sometimes barely. Don’t get me wrong, my perspective on surviving is a good one. I’m somehow keeping up to my plans. Which is huge- because my plans are big and daunting and scare me most of the time.

So, what have I been up to the past two weeks?

Everything. Legitimately go from one end of the spectrum to the next in a day. Absolute insanity.

Its not uncommon for me to start my day at the barn where Horse Connection is based working with some of their new horses. The horse I’ve been focusing on is Sonny, a 7 yr old paint who is relatively new to the program. He is also relatively new to all things balance, forward motion, collection, and anything faster then a jog. The program directer asked me to put some miles on him before we start with the kids in a few weeks, and the first time I rode him it was easy to tell he wasn’t lacking in brains- just in motivation. Our first ride was a lot of walking, figuring out what he knew and didn’t know. I realized quickly that nobody had really ever helped in out with balance. So, I spent time giving him guidance in that area. Circles, bending, transitions, serpentines, and more transitions.That first ride I was only able to keep him at a canter for one circle in each direction- and trotting was also pretty messy. He just wasn’t convinced about where to put his feet and how to hold his head. I came out of it with lots of ideas with what to do next with him. The next time I got on Sonny, it was clear I had made an impression on him. Right away he was walking with more confidence and putting himself in a gorgeous frame. His trot had more impulsion, he didn’t fall into our circles as much, and I didn’t have to encourage him as much to keep moving forward through the trot and walk. When I asked him to canter, he wasn’t overly motivated- but I kept him at a consistent pace for well over 6 circles in each direction, which he hasn’t done for anybody yet. I was pretty surprised with how quickly he made progress- and it was one of those beautiful horse-rider moments where you can feel progress happening. The director was around to see this ride, and was equally impressed with his progress. Which is always nice to hear!

So that’s the first major commitment I have. Next I head to school- where I listen and practice practical skills. This past week I started researching ideas for a pathology research paper. There are two options that interest me, one of which is hippotherapy as a intervention for cerebal palsy (might as well seeing as I’m going to be getting hands on experience with this once Horse Connection starts up), and the other on the pathology of post concussion syndrome. Also pretty relevant to my career as an AT. This past week I also helped with fitness testing in the older adults fitness class I’m working with. The testing we do now, and again at the end of the program, is going to be used in some research one of the profs is doing- and I’m hoping to get involved with- on the effects of exercise on an ageing population.  Among some of the other fun things I learned this week in classes were pre-event massage, which is exhausting to perform, and hilarious to receive. You find out very quickly where you are ticklish, and learn that you can make some pretty interesting noises when trying to stifle laughter and not kick your lab partner in the face. Later in the week I also learned how to make a orthotic cast and assess gait/foot postures. It was pretty fun to play with plaster, and I now have a lovely cast of my foot courtesy of my lab partner. Below is a picture of my looking way to happy while working on my partner’s foot.

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After classes finish for the day I can be headed one of many directions. Sometimes its to a yoga class, other times it’s cooking with my bestie. This week we made Chicken and bacon alfredo(made with coconut milk) spaghetti squash with sautéed spinach and asparagus with a side of gluten free garlic toast. Mostly paleo, all delicious.

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If it’s work I’m off to, I get to spend time watching and learning from the AT at the gym. This week he had me teach and supervise exercises with a couple clients as well as stretch them out. He gave me the complement of telling me my “flow” has greatly improved in the past few weeks, and I’m becoming much more confident and efficient. Eee!

On Friday’s I head to football, where I tape, stretch, watch, assess, and dress cuts and abrasions. And banter with the players. I’m no longer known as “trainer #2”, “other trainer”, “that girl”, or “not Nikki” anymore. I am now acknowledged as “Trainer Kat”. They can’t figure out my full name, which majority of the population can’t apparently. I’ll take it though, it has a good ring to it.

I had a big moment at this week’s game. Even though it was pretty chilly, I got 3 half-decent heel-locks in a row (if you don’t know what this is, just know that it’s a huge challenge for me) in my ankle taping (3/6 for that event- definite improvement!), and performed an assessment/referral on a wrist fracture and concussion testing on two players–by myself! I also didn’t forget any steps like I usually do! I also managed to tape an ankle at half with hands that were completely numb from cold. That was a challenge. And it’s not even that cold out yet. During the game, my supervisor and the head trainer for the team, nudged me on the shoulder and pointed to one of the players  I had taped and another player who I had dressed a cut on (and later assessed his wrist) and said “look, that’s your hard work out on the field- you can be proud of that”. After reading my reflections from the past couple weeks, she also let me know that she is really happy with me and has some more challenges for me in the next few weeks. I’m so lucky to be surrounded with teachers and peers who are willing to push me and challenge me exactly the way I need. It’s not uncommon for me to feel completely overwhelmed a lot of the time. But at the same time I have had so many feelings of accomplishment alongside the overwhelmed feeling.

When I’m not in school, working, taping footballers, cooking, reading, researching, riding, or sleeping- I’m working out, coaching, and practicing taping. This weekend I got back into the gym, and started lifting actual weights again for the first time since May. Oh my gosh did that feel good. Overhead BB press and hex bar Deadlifts 10×5 followed by pushing the sled for 3x3min intervals. That’s a welcome back.

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Afterwards I took some time and used my friends foot to perfect some taping. An AT’s tape job is their best advertisement- or so my supervisor likes to say- so I’m really working not only on functionality but also presentation. My ankle taping is getting better and better, it’s by far the one I do the most. I can now do it in under 3 minutes. I also worked on some taping for turf toe (hyperextension) and arch support. Here’s some pictures!

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The last thing I’ve filled my schedule with is coaching a new client- which is such a nice way to finish up my crazy weeks. Working with a horse and rider that are willing to learn on a crisp fall morning- how much better could it get?

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This year has already been so crazy, in so many ways. I’ve been able to integrate my life as an equestrian into my school schedule. I’m getting to ride and coach, alongside work towards goals in the other part of my life. I used to worry about how these two parts of my life would fit together, but currently I’m getting a glimpse at how they can work really well together. Did this recap of the past while leave your head spinning? Don’t worry, mine too. I’m starting to see my future in a much clearer perspective now as I get more involved in the last half of my degree and gain real life experience in the field. I’m having to work so hard and the most minute things, but I’m being rewarded for it in sometimes the most abstract ways. I feel very blessed to have found things in this life that I am head over heels in love with. I’m thriving on surviving (feel free to throw this back at me when I’m complaining about midterms).

Each day brings a new challenge and a new goal to achieve. I hope I can keep keeping up!

 

 

 

A long post for a long week

Look at me, posting on a Sunday like I intended to!

I had another one of those weeks where it felt like a month passed in 4 days. And I really don’t think that feeling is going to go away any time soon. The amount of things I’m fitting in right now qualifies me for the hypothetical over-scheduling olympics. Hypothetical only because they won’t ever happen due to scheduling conflicts.

I believe I mentioned the opportunity I received early last week to work alongside three profs and a few other students teaching and assisting in an older adults exercise class and research project on campus this year.  I feel pretty lucky to have been in the right place at the right time with this one, as it will be giving me loads of learning experience (and connections) in exercise prescription and working with a different age group. To go along side this, the AT that works at the gym I also work at has delegated me his Thursday night assistant. Literally 10-minutes after walking in the door for my shift Thursday he had me stretching out a client for him. He taught me a few new stretches that I hadn’t learnt yet and informed me that I would be learning many more over the next week or so as he has a large client list for Thursday nights and needs an extra set of hands doing things like stretching, supervising exercise, and whatever else he deems me able to do. And my hands need the experience. So, there we go. I have a nice contrast going right now, between working with high school athletes, seniors, and now also the in-between aged clients.

To add to this list, I also accepted a volunteer position with Horse Connection . This organization is based around providing inner city/high risk youth with behavioural and now also physical disorders or disabilities a chance to work around horses and learn new skills in a structured and challenging environment.  They combine the benefits of both sport and working with animals to help change lives. How awesome is that? I’ve been a fan of this program for a while, knowing one of the co-founders, and was so happy when she asked if I would be interested in getting involved. My position right now will range from exercising the lesson horses, to basic instructing/supervising the kids around the horses, and handling/leading horses during lessons. It seems like the kind of position that can lead to more opportunities down the road, especially with my educational background.

Am I doing well on the “not overscheduling” goal I listed last post? Ehhhh… not really… Basically gained another 3 jobs, to add to my current part-time job, as well as a full course load- this week alone. Oh and lets not forget football. Here’s hoping the universe is done offering me schedule fillers, because we all know I have a serious problem with saying no to things. But, I am doing better with my nutrition goals, and I did open a text book yesterday and read a few pages. Win some you lose some, I guess.

What else can I tell you?

Friday was our first season game in Brandon, and my first ever football game. Like I’ve mentioned before, it’s been a steep learning curve and a new perspective for me. As an athlete myself I’m not unfamiliar with the practice/game/team-sport atmosphere- but it is very different point of view as an AT student. As much as you are a part of the team, the AT is responsible for all things regarding player safety and because of this has to stay very objective in every situation. As much as you are involved, you are the one responsible for taking a step back and often making important decisions when it comes to an athletes’ well being.

We travelled to Brandon (thankfully on a coach bus, not a school bus like my high school athlete days). I had no idea what to expect going into the game, as I’ve only ever been to one football game in my life as a spectator- and never as a member of the team. True to my theme, Iearned fast on the go. On the bus my supervisor gave me the job of talking to all the athletes to find out what they needed, wanted, or felt they needed taped before the game. Her words upon handing me the pen and paper were “are you okay doing this?” and my response was “I’m going to be”. This basically sums up our working relationship. She hands me something out of my comfort zone, and I figure out how to handle it in a hurry. It’s comforting to know that she wouldn’t ever give me something out of my depth, but it doesn’t change the terrifying leap I end up taking out of my comfort zone. Great for learning.

So after roaming through a moving bus filled with football players, and arriving in Brandon, I set out on taping ankles and other pre-game tasks. Once the players were ready to go, we headed out on field and I was handed another unfamiliar task. Filling out the emergency action plan for the game location. This I was guided through, and it really isn’t too hard- just involves talking to the other teams trainer, finding out their qualifications (if any), and knowing the address and ambulance entrance directions in case of an emergency. Once that was done, and the game had started, I did a lot of observing. Thankfully there were no major injuries- the head trainer only had to go on field once for a bad case of bruised ribs. I watched a few assessments (bruised ribs, shoulder subluxation, wrist injury), and dealt with a few minor cuts and wardrobe malfunctions. Then the game was over, players showered, and we were back on the bus home. And I started breathing again.

Saturday brought a nice relaxing (what?!) day spent hacking with Lauren at the barn (got to hop on the by far biggest horse in the barn, Shakka), and then lounging around running errands the rest of the day. Sunday brought my first ever 10k run in the Winnipeg 10&10 for Winnipeg Harvest. When I say my first ever 10k, I mean it. I haven’t ever trained over 10k before. How’s that for spontaneous. I’m very proud to say I managed to finish in 1:01 hrs, a very respectable time for my circumstances/irresponsibility and ran the ENTIRE thing. 1184782_10151904625733086_220155402_n

That was week 1 of my the last 25% of my University degree. It is still so weird for me to be a third year. There are many moments when I feel like the jaded student that I am, but equally as many moments where I feel like I’m still a newbie. I guess that’s because this is the first year where all my classes are specific to my career choice, and much more challenging. Somedays it’s easy to imagine working in the real world, because I have already gained some experience actually doing it- and will gain much more by the time I’m done this year (or this semester even). All the things I’ve been planning for my future are actually starting to happen. Old goals and new goals are becoming even more clear. It seems like such a short time ago I was still unsure about where I was going or who I wanted to be, and yet I’m finding myself becoming more experienced in things I used to only dream about more and more each day.. especially when I fill the days up like I do. Time is flying, even when it feels like it’s dragging.

To end off, I’ll leave you with some pictures of the meals I’ve made to get me back on track with some good eating to keep me going and over scheduling (haha, I wish I was kidding), and some other random snapshots from the week.

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Shakka! Aka, elephant.

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Tried out Modern Taco Company, SO GOOD (and gluten free!).

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My creation- sweet potato and zucchini “pasta” cooked with basil, rosemary, onions and garlic- topped with farmer sausage and chickpeas.

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First in-class taping since last year. My football practicing is paying off!

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First day of school selfie. This is the last time I will dress this nicely for class until next September, it had to be documented.

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Blueberry Chai Muffins (grain free, dairy free, sugar free- but so delicious), recipe from http://www.paleomg.com!

Of goals and other fluffy things

So I’m officially in my third year of University. Does that trip anybody else out, or just me? On the outside I look like a put together jaded 3rd year student, scoffing at first years and way over waiting in lines for anything. On the inside I’m still trying to figure out how I’m almost finished my Bachelor’s degree, and what the real world is. Things are getting real. Fast.

Besides the fact that it feels like my summer was a week long (oh wait, it was), it feels nice to be back on campus. It’s a very familiar place to be, and seeing all the familiar faces of the faculty makes it even better. I am getting the feeling, however, that this year is going to be more focused on dealing with the unfamiliars and the new rather than the comfort of a classroom or lab. Third year is the year legendary for AT students. It’s make it or break it time.

It’s going to take some effort to get my brain back into full school mode. It’s still thinking concentration is optional. Which is less than ideal. I do have to give it some credit, though, as it’s handled many new experiences the past few weeks with regards to football and life in general- and for the most part taken them in stride. During said experience, anyway. My ability to deal with a laceration to the thigh of a player, or tape an ankle, or assess a new injury has grown so much over the past couple weeks. In the moment not much can phase me. I’m hoping that eventually the time it takes me to resume a normal thought process after practices comes down- as right now I’m pretty much a zombie for the remainder of the day. My big happy dance moment for today’s practice was absolutely nailing my ankle inversion tape job. I’ve been practicing it everyday as I tape a couple of the players on a regular basis- but today after a weekend off taping all together, the stars aligned and nothing could get in the way of my heel-locks. Heck yes!

We have our first game this Friday, and while I’m excited for yet another first experience in the AT world, that excitement also comes with an overwhelming sense of nervousness. Again, mostly because it’s new and a big first in my career. I’m so lucky to have a great AT supervising and teaching me, as well as a great Faculty behind me. Here’s hoping I’m able to keep my cool during and after Friday’s game!

I’ve been in the process of setting a few goals for myself for this school year, most of them are focused around my basic survival- some are just for fun.

1) Keep my nutrition on track. 

This is going to be an interesting one, mostly because it really will require me to be a big girl about buying groceries, planning meals, and cooking. Like, really cooking. Why is this important for my survival? Other than the basic human need to eat, I will function so much better if I put a little extra effort into eating the right things for what my body needs. I’ve learned the hard way that nothing goes well for me if I try and live off KD. The fact that I have scheduled Wednesday evenings to try new recipes with my bestie is going to help, I think. There won’t be any KD cooked on those nights, I can guarantee that.

2) Not over schedule my already over scheduled schedule. 

Say that one 5 times fast.

But seriously. Within this week, I’ve already said yes to one, potentially two (equally awesome) opportunities that while giving me great experience and connections have completely filled up my time table. One is still on the table, but the one I’ve said yes to came up sporadically, but was impossible to say no to (in this situation I need to really think about how nothing is impossible). Seriously though, I couldn’t really turn up working with three prominent profs, and researchers, teaching and assisting in their older adults exercise class… could I? Not only am I gaining clinical exercise prescription experience, but I’m getting to hang out with three talented and influential professors. The other opportunity would be volunteering with a local riding program, assisting with inner city and troubled youth while they learn how to care and ride horses. I’m meeting with the coordinator tomorrow to talk out some details before I make my decision on that one. Again, it’s going to be hard to say no to an opportunity like that!

3) Follow the work out program I designed

This one is just for fun. You may remember the case study I did this spring, focusing on a exercise program for the elite equestrian athlete. It’s based around an transition (off-season), pre-season, and competitive phase program, and loosely follows the school year (seeing as I designed it loosely based off my own schedule). I got an A on that case study, and I have a bad habit of training too hard in the off-season and burning out, or not training enough and having old injuries reappear (where I’m at currently). I figure seeing as I already put the effort into designing a progressive program, why not see how functional it actually is by following my own advice?

4) Use the text-books I spent a lot of money on. 

Students are notorious for this. I’m saying that because I’m in denial about the fact that I may be the only one who does this. Buying textbooks, having all the intention of studying from them and doing extra reading.. and then they never get opened. I honestly plan on not doing that this year- mostly because I think I wouldn’t get very far in many of my courses if I didn’t. Also because I am legitimately interested in all the topics they cover. It’s going to happen. Seriously, it is.

5) Ask questions

I tend to be the quietest person in class- and then end up emailing the prof asking a bunch of questions I could just have easily asked in person in class. Every year I seem to get more and more confident when it comes to speaking out in class- so maybe this year I’ll finally put on my big girl pants and not be afraid to engage in discussions as much. It will probably help that one of the profs I have for quite a few classes knows me well enough to call me out if I’m avoiding eye contact. Or looking confused. She also knows that I’ve had enough injuries of my own to have valid first had experience, which is nice when in classes like taping or assessment. Long story short, I think I’ll be learning to talk more this year.

 

That’s a very short list of some of the goals I have for myself, starting now. One of the biggest goals for me is to not burn out as hard as I did last year. That goal will be achieved by making an honest effort at the goals listed above, and some not listed. This year is going to be a challenge, mentally and physically. Day one was all that and more, and it was only day one. I never knew I could love something so much, but also just want to curl up in a dark place and hide/nap from the real world too. I’m interested to see how this plays out, and how I go about achieving the goals I have and am still in the process of setting. I always make them happen one way or another.

Right? Right.